Some people say that the best way to improve health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.
It is no secret that, today, millions of people in different countries suffer from various diseases unfortunately that, in my opinion, this situation has to harass our society seriously. I want to write about the two attitudes, which has been given. What we have to for solution, or how to do?
First of all, as we know, this century, which we live in is the period of technology and at the same time we certainly know that there are many high-tech sport facilities in almost everywhere. However, many people have critical diseases, that harm their lifestyle unfortunately. That's why, I believe that, increasing, I believe that, increasing the range of sport facilities will not decrease the number of unsound people. We may allocate special natural spaces for the patients. In these areas, patients will be able to walk through the park, forest or sea, and they will think only perfect stuffs. I am entirely sure that this make them much more healthier. Because, according to the genius american writer Napaleon Hill, "Think and grow rich!"
Secondly, we can also create other measurements that effect on public health. I want to explain with an example, about ten years ago, my dear grandpa suffered from cancer. Even, his doctors said him that he would not live over 6 months, but he lived 9 years after that and he died last year in his 82.He could live magically, because he practiced yoga every day about 2 hours and this made him sound. I think, we have to open many yoga centers for patients and this is the best solution. Because, yoga is not sport, yoga is inspiration for hopeless sick people.
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Sentence: What we have to for solution, or how to do?
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a preposition
Suggestion: Refer to to and for
this make them much more healthier.
this makes them much healthier.
this make them much more healthy.
that effect on public health.
that affect on public health.
his doctors said him that
his doctors told him that
yoga is inspiration for hopeless sick people.
yoga is the inspiration for hopeless sick people.
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
better to have 4-5 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion
or:
para 1: introduction
para 2: idea one.
para 3: however, idea two
para 4: in my opinion...
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 279 350
No. of Characters: 1279 1500
No. of Different Words: 178 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.087 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.584 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.386 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 81 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 59 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 39 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.6 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.352 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.533 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.305 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.448 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.137 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5