Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the the number of sports facilities. Others, however say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Planning for improving public health has always been a crucial issue among governments. Although quit number of people believe that the rising number of sport facilities is the most important priority in order to achieve public health, Many people think it is not sufficient for having healthy society.
It is first argued that the lack of facilities play an important role in protecting public health. Simply, they think having more sport facilities means having more chance to be healthy. Owes to this, people with this idea strongly believe that providing a suitable places and tools for sports activities might influence on people’s motivation. As a matter of fact, when people from all walks of life meet their basic needs in the sports they encourage to exercise more and it leads to live a life of healthy.
On the other hand, some critics assert believe that as long as people just rely on sport issues for being healthy, they can’t analyze the underlying reason of public health. Indeed, they mention that providing more facilities needs huge budget from the government, whereas government can spend this amount of money for solving some big problems such as obesity and addiction which are hardly threat public health. For instance, they suggest to the government to ban markets from selling cigarettes. Additionally , they insist on producing a documentary about addiction to make families aware. Moreover, they believe that government should devotees more money for encouraging people to cook their daily foods in their own kitchen instead of overusing in fast food. This can be a tangible solution for surviving public health from obesity and addiction.
After all, besides all the problems which come from the lack of facilities, from my point of view having more capacity in sport is not the best solution for improving the rate of health in society.Public health has threatened by some other major problems. So, it needs more consideration from government.
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some critics assert believe that
some critics believe that
Sentence: Moreover, they believe that government should devotees more money for encouraging people to cook their daily foods in their own kitchen instead of overusing in fast food.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to should and devotees
obesity and addiction which are hardly threat public health.
obesity and addiction which can hardly threat public health.
flaws:
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No. of Different Words: 170 200
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
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No. of Words: 322 350
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Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
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Number of Paragraphs: 4 5