Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university.
Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.
Some people prefer to have no pauses between their high school and academic education in universities. Although taking job during this time has some disadvantages, I believe that the advantages is less. Working in this time not only is so useful, but it also help young people to make their character better.
There are some benefits in taking job for a period of time before education in a university. Firstly, high schools have compress programs and students do not have enough time to learn important concepts of their lessons on that time. So this time is a golden opportunity to think more to these things. Secondly, working gains high school graduated people more independence and it get them familiar with many areas, so all of them help these young people to choose a better or at least a more convenient academic major in the future.
On the other hand, entering to university immediately after high school has several points in its favour. In this vain, people loss no time and they remember many of the lessons. Therefore it could lead to progress more for them. Achieving more good opportunities during the studying is a second positive point for this manner. University students could expose to these choices sooner. I recognize my friend who educated immediately after high school. He finished his master degree last year and now he is Ph.D. student in age 25. He is very successful in his field.
All in all, I think that advantages of taking job before entering to university is more. Because I am sure that the fields needs to some independent well-educated expert of universities ones not only university younger educated ones.
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Working in this time not only is so useful, but it also help young people to make their character better.
Description: Not only...but also is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?
and it get them familiar with many areas
and it gets them familiar with many areas
people loss no time
people lose no time
advantages of taking job before entering to university is more.
advantages ...are more.
the fields needs to some independent well-educated expert of universities ones not only university younger educated ones.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
Sentence: I recognize my friend who educated immediately after high school.
Description: A WH-pronoun, nominative is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to who and educated
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 279 350
No. of Characters: 1339 1500
No. of Different Words: 155 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.087 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.799 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.628 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 98 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 60 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 47 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.412 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.357 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.471 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.314 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.499 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.109 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5