Today’s sports are turning into businesses with many comapnies becoming involved and ever growing prize money for the sprotsperson. Is this a positive or negative development?

Essay topics:

Today’s sports are turning into businesses with many comapnies becoming involved and ever growing prize money for the sprotsperson. Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, sports are the important activities to keep health people, but it is became amazing business by agencies and ever increasing prize money for the sportsman. This really will be positively in many aspects for them.

Sports are activity to make humans more health. They think this is method to always keep their health and they will pay expensively to get it. Moreover, there are many corporations to build the center of sports in their place that teach humans to become astounding athlete. And then, they always support and give award for atheletes when they join and become winner in a competition.

This is profitable for them. When they course about sports, the businessman will get advantages because they pay them to rent their place. Moreover, when they want to join in a competition, they will be easier to get sponsorship to register and pay their activity in competition. In fact, busnissmen will get profit that is promotoin by athlete. In addition, their brand will show in area that want to increase their brand. And people will know about brand as sponsor from competition. In as result, while many persons know about a brand from factories, they will buy or use the brand.
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In conclusion, there are many benefits form corporations build business in sprots that will receive profit from athelete and citizen. When persons want to have business, they should think to build in sport. Because it will be easy to promote that use athelete and advertisemnet in a competition. It can improve thier factories to become amazing factories and support the sportsman.

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2014-11-06 budichexo 50 view

Comments

Sentence: Nowadays, sports are the important activities to keep health people, but it is became amazing business by agencies and ever increasing prize money for the sportsman.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, past tense
Suggestion: Refer to is and became

Sentence: This really will be positively in many aspects for them.
Description: The fragment be positively in is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace positively with adjective

They think this is method to
They think this is a method to

Sentence: When they course about sports, the businessman will get advantages because they pay them to rent their place.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to they and course

there are many benefits form corporations build business in sprots
there are many benefits form corporations which build business in sprots

Sentence: Because it will be easy to promote that use athelete and advertisemnet in a competition.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to use and athelete

Sentence: And then, they always support and give award for atheletes when they join and become winner in a competition.
Error: atheletes Suggestion: athletes

Sentence: In fact, busnissmen will get profit that is promotoin by athlete.
Error: promotoin Suggestion: promotion
Error: busnissmen Suggestion: businessmen

Sentence: In as result, while many persons know about a brand from factories, they will buy or use the brand. --break-- In conclusion, there are many benefits form corporations build business in sprots that will receive profit from athelete and citizen.
Error: athelete Suggestion: athlete
Error: sprots Suggestion: sports

Sentence: Because it will be easy to promote that use athelete and advertisemnet in a competition.
Error: athelete Suggestion: athlete
Error: advertisemnet Suggestion: advertisement

Sentence: It can improve thier factories to become amazing factories and support the sportsman.
Error: thier Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 9
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 265 350
No. of Characters: 1286 1500
No. of Different Words: 124 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.035 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.853 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.514 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 86 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 58 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 42 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.562 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.223 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.311 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.44 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.095 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5