The bar chart below shows the number of employees from the European Union in the United States (1999). Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

Essay topics:

The bar chart below shows the number of employees from the European Union in the United States (1999).

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The bar chart reveals the number of employees from the European Union in the United States,such as EU Born Science and Technology Employees Working in the US over the periods.

Overall, the number of employees in the British expanded increadibly than the other countries,

but the extent of the French decreased enormously among the employees in the United States.

It can be seen from the bar chart that the level of Germans acclerated significantly at 25,000 employees than the rate of British. As opposed, the widespread number of staffs in the British comprised multiply at 30,000. While, other countries stand at double slightly in 1999. However, the percentage of Italians reduced approximately 10,000, except for the French depleted substantially at 5,000. As the bar chart is illustrated, the number of employees flactuated gradually and substantially at varies

rates, such as working staffs will extend and escalate near the future in the US.

In conclusion, the level of British and Germans increased multiply than the other countries, unlike the rates of French and Italians declined substantially over the periods.

Votes
Average: 5.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 91, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , such
... the European Union in the United States,such as EU Born Science and Technology Emplo...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 96, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ed increadibly than the other countries, but the extent of the French decreased e...
^^^^
Line 7, column 222, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “While” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...e British comprised multiply at 30,000. While, other countries stand at double slight...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 505, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ed gradually and substantially at varies rates, such as working staffs will exten...
^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Rates
...radually and substantially at varies rates, such as working staffs will extend and...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, while, except for, in conclusion, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 2.0 13.1623246493 15% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 7.85571142285 25% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 10.4138276553 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 1.0 7.30460921844 14% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 4.0 24.0651302605 17% => OK
Preposition: 30.0 41.998997996 71% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 8.3376753507 12% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 966.0 1615.20841683 60% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 178.0 315.596192385 56% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.42696629213 5.12529762239 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.65262427087 4.20363070211 87% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.91837034906 2.80592935109 104% => OK
Unique words: 91.0 176.041082164 52% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.511235955056 0.561755894193 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 274.5 506.74238477 54% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 5.43587174349 18% => OK
Article: 6.0 2.52805611222 237% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.76152304609 42% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 8.0 16.0721442886 50% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 20.2975951904 108% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.7371305816 49.4020404114 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.75 106.682146367 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.25 20.7667163134 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.375 7.06120827912 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.38176352705 137% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 5.0 5.01903807615 100% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.67935871743 58% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.9879759519 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.186681103548 0.244688304435 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0855086478707 0.084324248473 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0761635873343 0.0667982634062 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0907288429559 0.151304729494 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0873507272542 0.056905535591 154% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.3 13.0946893788 117% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 50.2224549098 115% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 11.3001002004 95% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.51 12.4159519038 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.07 8.58950901804 106% => OK
difficult_words: 49.0 78.4519038076 62% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 9.78957915832 112% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.1190380762 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.7795591182 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Maximum five paragraphs wanted.
Minimum 250 words wanted.

Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.