It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history To what extent do you agree or disagree

Essay topics:

It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In our contemporary life, it has always been a controversial issue whether students have to study local history instead of global history. As far as I’m concerned I would like to express my contradiction to this view because both of them are crucial for students and my reasons are explained below.
On the one hand, it is certain that studying local history helps students develop a sense of patriotism. In fact, the whole Vietnamese have suffered trauma in the war against Western countries such as Japan, America, etc… , a great number of Vietnam soldiers sacrificed their lives to protect the independence and freedom of their nation. Therefore, school children would take pride in their origin and treasure their lives as they know today. Additionally, I think It’s both privilege and responsibility for students to the past of ancestors and predecessors to understand their hometown’s traditional identity and values.
On the other hand, learning about world history is vital as the local one since world history complements the local history in helping a student understand the world. Firstly, obtaining knowledge of the world’s past events equips them with a more well-rounded perspective of life. Understanding the reasons behind the world war and genocides helps students appreciate the need for an inclusive and consensus based approach to solve problems. Moreover, understanding past global events in other countries helps students understand the present problems in their locality.For example, the Great Depression of the 1930s and global financial crisis of 2008 had similar causes.Understanding these two financial events, separated by more than seven decades, will help students prevent future financial catastrophes.
In conclusion, I believe the significance of domestic and international history cannot be brought into comparison to see which one is more necessary because they have distinctively equal meanings to children.

Votes
Average: 8.4 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 223, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... countries such as Japan, America, etc… , a great number of Vietnam soldiers sacr...
^
Line 3, column 571, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: For
... the present problems in their locality.For example, the Great Depression of the 19...
^^^
Line 3, column 673, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Understanding
...ncial crisis of 2008 had similar causes.Understanding these two financial events, separated b...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, if, moreover, so, therefore, well, for example, i think, in conclusion, in fact, such as, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 13.1623246493 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 7.85571142285 64% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 10.4138276553 96% => OK
Relative clauses : 2.0 7.30460921844 27% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 23.0 24.0651302605 96% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 41.998997996 100% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.3376753507 36% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1658.0 1615.20841683 103% => OK
No of words: 298.0 315.596192385 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.56375838926 5.12529762239 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.15483772266 4.20363070211 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.11784263855 2.80592935109 111% => OK
Unique words: 180.0 176.041082164 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.604026845638 0.561755894193 108% => OK
syllable_count: 504.0 506.74238477 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 5.43587174349 74% => OK
Article: 3.0 2.52805611222 119% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 16.0721442886 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 20.2975951904 133% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 71.837281695 49.4020404114 145% => OK
Chars per sentence: 150.727272727 106.682146367 141% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.0909090909 20.7667163134 130% => OK
Discourse Markers: 11.1818181818 7.06120827912 158% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.01903807615 60% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.67935871743 81% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.201476015323 0.244688304435 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0808929752876 0.084324248473 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0977740550705 0.0667982634062 146% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.108260741931 0.151304729494 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0640408668017 0.056905535591 113% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.3 13.0946893788 140% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 35.61 50.2224549098 71% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 11.3001002004 133% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.26 12.4159519038 123% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.53 8.58950901804 111% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 78.4519038076 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 9.78957915832 143% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.1190380762 126% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.7795591182 139% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.