Many people say the gap between rich and poor people is wider, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer.What problems could this situation cause and what measures can be done to address those problems?

Essay topics:

Many people say the gap between rich and poor people is wider, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer.
What problems could this situation cause and what measures can be done to address those problems?

It is undeniable that the social gap between classes is wider when the unprivileged can not break the vicious cycle of indigence, whilst the upper class becomes wealthier. In my essay, i will shed the light this phenomenon and elicit some possible solutions for the sake of averting it.

There is a variety of reasons why the distribution of prosperity is still not equal. Firstly, for those who live under circumstances do not have access to the advanced education system due to their financial background. By sharp contrast to this, the children from rich families are supposed to have the favourable conditions to the knowledge acquisition. The better educated kids, as a result, are likely to be successful when they grow up with higher income than their counterparts. Secondly, the surrounding habitat if the poor people is flooded in the social evils such as drug addiction, gambling which is the cradle of beggary.

Nevertheless, we are capable of narrowing the wealth gap with a handful of doable solutions as follows. On the one hand, all students should have the free access to their desired educating places, which equip them the vital wisdom and techniques to devote to the society. The local authorities, on the other hand, probably create more jobs for the unprivileged. By dint of that they not only make ends meet, but run away from the social evils as well. To specify this practice, my village used to be the poorest place in the province with the high rate of crime. Thanks to the state supports, however, the local residents now are able to have the jobs and even get ahead. Consequently, the crime rate has decreased and the prosperity difference among villages of province is narrowed.

In conclusion, with the aforementioned causes of the phenomenon, we can tackle it via providing poor people more opportunities to higher education system and occupations.

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2016-12-04 jimpan 85 view
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IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 186, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...r class becomes wealthier. In my essay, i will shed the light this phenomenon and...
^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, first, firstly, however, if, nevertheless, second, secondly, so, still, well, in conclusion, such as, as a result, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 13.1623246493 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 7.85571142285 51% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 10.4138276553 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 7.30460921844 96% => OK
Pronoun: 20.0 24.0651302605 83% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 41.998997996 102% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.3376753507 84% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1577.0 1615.20841683 98% => OK
No of words: 314.0 315.596192385 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.02229299363 5.12529762239 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.20951839842 4.20363070211 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84013767331 2.80592935109 101% => OK
Unique words: 192.0 176.041082164 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.611464968153 0.561755894193 109% => OK
syllable_count: 494.1 506.74238477 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 16.0721442886 93% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.2975951904 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 28.4882821915 49.4020404114 58% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 105.133333333 106.682146367 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.9333333333 20.7667163134 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.0666666667 7.06120827912 143% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.67935871743 104% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.9879759519 125% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts,knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.142504478312 0.244688304435 58% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0379720995064 0.084324248473 45% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0485561554411 0.0667982634062 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0938605376922 0.151304729494 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0513660507637 0.056905535591 90% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 13.0946893788 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 50.2224549098 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 11.3001002004 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.84 12.4159519038 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.0 8.58950901804 105% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 78.4519038076 111% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 9.78957915832 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.1190380762 99% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK

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Rates: 89.8876404494 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 8.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.