Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access and exchange of information . Far from being beneficial this is a danger to our society . What is your view ?
IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample 142 - Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information
Written by IELTS Mentor
IELTS Writing Task 2/ IELTS Essay:
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being beneficial, this is a danger to our societies.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
Sample Essay 1:
It is true that with the rapid development of technology, people have unlimited access to various information and exchange database freely these days. Despite all benefits, some people believe that it is harmful and dangerous for our communities. To a certain point I would agree that it could be dangerous, but if we have proper control over technological use then it would be useful from many aspects.
On one hand, the advance development of modern technology has allowed people to gain access to so many websites, database, and information hub and to exchange them. All governments and companies are using computer technology to store and maintain their confidential information these days. Certain people believe that the development is dangerous for our societies as it could be misused for any crime activities. For example, a computer hacker might have access to a bank information system and use a person's credit card number. In another case, the hacker might steal top secret information from the government and sell them to the terrorists.
Despite all the treats, the easy access to information system has brought countless benefits to the humankind. Firstly, with the development of the internet technology, scientists could effectively perform their research. By having access to so many websites, it has saved a lot of the scientists’ time when they have to investigate things, rather than to go to the library and search for books and journals. Secondly, with the easy access to information system, it also helps students in learning new things. In the past, students only got information through books, but these days they can learn from various platforms. For example, when they want to learn new things, they can also learn from another format such as video. There are thousands of free video websites such as YouTube and Vimeo, where they can access them and find some informative lessons. Having central databases of citizens is a great way for the government to tackle illegal immigration, crime and social problems.
In conclusion, to a certain extent, I would agree that the easy access to various information and exchange of database could be harmful to the humankind. However, I also believe that this development also brings a lot of benefits to the societies, as scientists have become more effective in doing their researches. I personally believe that the government should have a strict regulation about the access and design a proper control system which would prevent the misuse of the information.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 41, column 993, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...immigration, crime and social problems. In conclusion, to a certain extent, I wo...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, second, secondly, so, then, at least, for example, in conclusion, such as, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 13.1623246493 91% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 7.85571142285 191% => OK
Conjunction : 24.0 10.4138276553 230% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 11.0 7.30460921844 151% => OK
Pronoun: 43.0 24.0651302605 179% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 63.0 41.998997996 150% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 8.3376753507 288% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2691.0 1615.20841683 167% => OK
No of words: 510.0 315.596192385 162% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.27647058824 5.12529762239 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75217629947 4.20363070211 113% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82856928939 2.80592935109 101% => OK
Unique words: 243.0 176.041082164 138% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.476470588235 0.561755894193 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 805.5 506.74238477 159% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 5.43587174349 166% => OK
Article: 4.0 2.52805611222 158% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 0.809619238477 371% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 12.0 4.76152304609 252% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 16.0721442886 156% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.2975951904 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.8994253861 49.4020404114 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.64 106.682146367 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.4 20.7667163134 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 7.06120827912 71% => OK
Paragraphs: 13.0 4.38176352705 297% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.67935871743 150% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.9879759519 201% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.4128256513 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.34245054726 0.244688304435 140% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0919359865283 0.084324248473 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.086898513083 0.0667982634062 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.134514887787 0.151304729494 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.173757497157 0.056905535591 305% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 13.0946893788 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 50.2224549098 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 11.3001002004 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.34 12.4159519038 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.0 8.58950901804 93% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 78.4519038076 139% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 9.78957915832 72% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.1190380762 99% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.7795591182 130% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Maximum five paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.