Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example for young people.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Essay topics:

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example for young people.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is true that SOME CELEBRITIES are known for their GLAMOROUS LIFESTYLES rather than for the work they do. While I agree that these celebrities set a bad example for children, I believe that other famous people act as positive role models.
On the one hand, many people do achieve fame without really working for it. They may have inherited money from parents, married a famous or wealthy person, or they may have APPEARED IN GOSSIP MAGAZINES or on a reality TV programme. A good example would be Paris Hilton, who is rich and famous for the wrong reasons. She spends her time attending parties and nightclubs, and her behaviour promotes the idea that appearance, glamour and media profile are more important than hard work and good character. The message to young people is that success can be achieved easily, and that school work is not necessary.
On the other hand, there are at least as many celebrities whose accomplishments make them EXCELLENT ROLE MODELS FOR YOUNG PEOPLE. Actors, musicians and sports stars become famous idols because they have worked hard and applied themselves to develop real skills and abilities. They DEMONSTRATE GREAT EFFORT, DETERMINATION AND AMBITION, which is required for someone who wants to be truly successful in their chosen field. An example is an actor and martial artist Jackie
Chan, who has become world famous through years of practice and hard work. This kind of self-made celebrity can inspire children to DEVELOP THEIR TALENTS THROUGH APPLICATION AND PERSEVERANCE.
In conclusion, while some celebrities affect the youth badly, I believe others are becoming motivators for children.

Votes
Average: 6.1 (1 vote)
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2019-01-06 Millie 61 view

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 33, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
It is true that SOME CELEBRITIES are known for their GLAMOROUS LIFESTYLES...
^^
Line 3, column 414, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to field'
Suggestion: to field
... to be truly successful in their chosen field. An example is an actor and martial art...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
if, may, really, so, while, at least, in conclusion, kind of, it is true, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 13.1623246493 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 7.85571142285 64% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 10.4138276553 154% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 7.30460921844 151% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 24.0651302605 108% => OK
Preposition: 17.0 41.998997996 40% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 5.0 8.3376753507 60% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1371.0 1615.20841683 85% => OK
No of words: 267.0 315.596192385 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.13483146067 5.12529762239 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.04229324003 4.20363070211 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63017897912 2.80592935109 94% => OK
Unique words: 169.0 176.041082164 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.632958801498 0.561755894193 113% => OK
syllable_count: 421.2 506.74238477 83% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 5.43587174349 129% => OK
Article: 3.0 2.52805611222 119% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 0.809619238477 371% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.76152304609 63% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 16.0721442886 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 20.2975951904 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 28.4486457285 49.4020404114 58% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 105.461538462 106.682146367 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.5384615385 20.7667163134 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.0 7.06120827912 99% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.38176352705 114% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.01903807615 40% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.67935871743 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.4128256513 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.301374627537 0.244688304435 123% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.105330112756 0.084324248473 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0774070921489 0.0667982634062 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.168863832028 0.151304729494 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.094374668626 0.056905535591 166% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.0 13.0946893788 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 50.2224549098 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 11.3001002004 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.47 12.4159519038 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.0 8.58950901804 105% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 78.4519038076 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 9.78957915832 112% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.1190380762 99% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 61.797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.