The personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organizations Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages

Huge internet service provider companies and organizations gather and store vital personal information of their customers for future use. However, these activities have more disadvantages regarding to their advantages to both customers and the firm.
First of all, these type of organizations are at high risk of getting exposed through internet and are occasionally getting hacked and threats from hackers. This kinds of threats keep the information vulnerable to the leakage. As the internet market is growing rapidly and competition amongst them is rising constantly. Also, the graduates in IT engineering with high intellectual knowledge in cyber security and hacking are increasing day by day. Thus up-surging the threating agents to the internet companies. We can find many news about details of individuals leaked online by different type of hacking activities and so on.
On the second hand, cold war among two counties also lead to leakage of information on internet. At the stage of cold war between two nations, they focuses on showing one is superior to the other. In this type of situation, bigger internet companies are targeted by hackers and crucial information are exposed revealing many secret identities and many more. For instance we can recall past headlines of cyber-attack on companies of china and USA when they were at state of cold war.
However, storing information have few advantages like tracking, regular monitoring and so on. The information stored by such companies are really useful in case of tracking down any individuals who are either lost or any kind of suspect and assist in identification once on hold. On movies we have seen may crime suspects monitored and tracked down to knees based on the information on the database of ISPs.
On the whole the information shared to different ISPs are at high point of getting breached and getting revealed despite of having handful of usage. All in all, drawbacks outweigh the benefits of above stated statement.

Votes
Average: 7.8 (1 vote)

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 158, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: These
...etting hacked and threats from hackers. This kinds of threats keep the information v...
^^^^
Line 2, column 449, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
... and hacking are increasing day by day. Thus up-surging the threating agents to the ...
^^^^
Line 2, column 526, Rule ID: MANY_FEW_UNCOUNTABLE[2]
Message: Use 'much' or 'little' with uncountable nouns.
Suggestion: much; little
...to the internet companies. We can find many news about details of individuals leake...
^^^^
Line 2, column 526, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun news seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'much news', 'a good deal of news'.
Suggestion: much news; a good deal of news
...to the internet companies. We can find many news about details of individuals leaked onl...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 149, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[2]
Message: The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'focus'
Suggestion: focus
...e of cold war between two nations, they focuses on showing one is superior to the other...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, may, really, regarding, second, so, thus, for instance, kind of, first of all, on the whole

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 13.1623246493 91% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 7.85571142285 38% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 10.4138276553 154% => OK
Relative clauses : 2.0 7.30460921844 27% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 13.0 24.0651302605 54% => OK
Preposition: 67.0 41.998997996 160% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.3376753507 156% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1678.0 1615.20841683 104% => OK
No of words: 321.0 315.596192385 102% => OK
Chars per words: 5.22741433022 5.12529762239 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.23278547379 4.20363070211 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8757420898 2.80592935109 102% => OK
Unique words: 186.0 176.041082164 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.579439252336 0.561755894193 103% => OK
syllable_count: 540.0 506.74238477 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 5.43587174349 92% => OK
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 16.0721442886 100% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.2975951904 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.9831327812 49.4020404114 105% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.875 106.682146367 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0625 20.7667163134 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.3125 7.06120827912 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.38176352705 114% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.01903807615 100% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.67935871743 58% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 3.9879759519 276% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.4128256513 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.244346085091 0.244688304435 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.072845239143 0.084324248473 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0558349956225 0.0667982634062 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.119808009717 0.151304729494 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0448729021998 0.056905535591 79% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 13.0946893788 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 50.2224549098 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 11.3001002004 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.05 12.4159519038 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.76 8.58950901804 102% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 78.4519038076 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 9.78957915832 107% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.1190380762 99% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.