School concentrate far too much on traditional subjects which do not adequately prepare students for the realistic demands of the modern working world To what extent do you agree or disagree

Essay topics:

School concentrate far too much on traditional subjects which do not adequately prepare students for the realistic demands of the modern working world.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Education is weapon one can never lose in the hours of need. Presently, our school system is stick to the old conventional subjects which has failed to cop up with modern corporate world's demand. Here, I would like to accord with given statement with my own perception.

Manifarious points shore up my point of view. First and foremost, there is a huge syllabus involved in studies wh ich is irrelivent from the view of future scope. As a result, students often wants to get rid of this burden by bunking classes or by doing follic activies during the lectures.Hence, such study atmosphere, instead of providing better future, unknowingly, contributes in spoiling their careers.Secondly,today one is needed to best in his feild to face the massive competition in business sector. However, it could happen only if one is concetrating that particular subject which they are going to face in future. But presence of traditional subjects restricts him to do so.

Further emphasizing on my view, large number subjects create huge burden on students. Childrens, for instance, falls prey various mental and physical health risks such as depression, optic problems and so on. It is,therefore, necessary to reduce such irrelevent subjects that has nothing to do with their higher studies. On the contrary, others have coflicting views.

According to them, the traditional subjects provide great deal of knowledge.for example, apart from their main subjects, learners are getting plentiful amount of knowledge regarding their society, culture, history and so on. Moreover, studing different subjects helps in proper utlisation of a student's precious time to grasp more and more unknown facts. Hence, traditional subjects in school's co-curricular is a must!

To recapitulate, proper education is very fruitful to lead healthy and safe life.we can not support or go against either of each side entirely but still i belive that schools should make necessary amendments in education system according to the need of time.

Votes
Average: 6 (8 votes)
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Comments

Education is weapon one can never lose
Education is a weapon one can never lose

our school system is stick to the old conventional subjects which has failed to cop up with modern corporate world's demand
our school system is stick to the old conventional subjects, which has failed to cop up with modern corporate world's demand

in studies wh ich is irrelivent from the view of future scope
in studies which are irreverent from the view of future scope

students often wants to get rid of this burden
students often want to get rid of this burden

subjects restricts him to do so.
subjects restrict him to do so.

irrelevent subjects that has nothing to do with their higher studies
irrelevant subjects that have nothing to do with their higher studies

traditional subjects in school's co-curricular is a must!
traditional subjects in school's co-curricular are a must!

Sentence: First and foremost, there is a huge syllabus involved in studies wh ich is irrelivent from the view of future scope.
Error: irrelivent Suggestion: irrelevant

Sentence: As a result, students often wants to get rid of this burden by bunking classes or by doing follic activies during the lectures.Hence, such study atmosphere, instead of providing better future, unknowingly, contributes in spoiling their careers.Secondly,today one is needed to best in his feild to face the massive competition in business sector.
Error: follic Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: activies Suggestion: active

Sentence: However, it could happen only if one is concetrating that particular subject which they are going to face in future.
Error: concetrating Suggestion: concentrating

Sentence: It is,therefore, necessary to reduce such irrelevent subjects that has nothing to do with their higher studies.
Error: irrelevent Suggestion: irrelevant

Sentence: On the contrary, others have coflicting views.
Error: coflicting Suggestion: conflicting

Sentence: Moreover, studing different subjects helps in proper utlisation of a student's precious time to grasp more and more unknown facts.
Error: utlisation Suggestion: utilization
Error: studing Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: To recapitulate, proper education is very fruitful to lead healthy and safe life.we can not support or go against either of each side entirely but still i belive that schools should make necessary amendments in education system according to the need of time.
Error: belive Suggestion: believe

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 323 350
No. of Characters: 1644 1500
No. of Different Words: 215 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.239 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.09 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.727 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 130 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.188 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.929 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.688 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.286 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.543 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.059 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5