Some people believe that the range of technology available to individuals today is increasing the gap between rich people and poor people, while others say that technology has the opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There has been the existence of the gap between the rich and the poor since a long time ago and for some people, it seems more glaring when current technology is more developed, whereas others think that technology will descend this gap. In my opinion, I advocate the first idea which shows technology broadens the gap.
On the one hand, technology changes traditional education that will eliminate the gap in awareness between the rich and the poor. Historically, the curriculum was outrageously luxurious which was only given for the nobility and it was nearly impossible for the poor to access to knowledge. However, The Industrial Revolution 4.0 occurring changed everything, it not only brings a more easy way to get the knowledge but also gives the chance for the poor to be evaluated justifiedly no matter their condition. For instance, there are now more and more public schools and online classes established on the Internet for students to get intellectuals easily that removes the gap between advantaged countries like the UK and less developed countries such as Madagascar.
On the other hand, despite the convenience technology brings, it requires an adequate condition to be able to use its services. Agree that technology brings us a more easy way to educate, but access to technology is not always possible for some people. As an illustration, in remote rural Vietnam in which electricity rarely can be used, technology is not different from nonessential. In addition, it can be seen clearly in many cities, to be cured in the modern hospital with the most progressive equipment, the expenditure is not cheap enough for the poor to afford. Thence, the gap between rich and poor people will be larger.
In conclusion, the range of technology can zoom out the gap of perspective between the rich and the poor but it is not completely effective and even go to the opposite effect by its cost. In my opinion, technology just partly reduces this gap in limited fields, but it makes the gap worse in many aspects.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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There has been the existence of the gap ...
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Suggestion:
...hich shows technology broadens the gap. On the one hand, technology changes trad...
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...eveloped countries such as Madagascar. On the other hand, despite the convenien...
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...n rich and poor people will be larger. In conclusion, the range of technology c...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, however, if, so, then, whereas, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, such as, in my opinion, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 13.1623246493 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 7.85571142285 76% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 10.4138276553 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 7.30460921844 110% => OK
Pronoun: 20.0 24.0651302605 83% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 41.998997996 100% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.3376753507 120% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1688.0 1615.20841683 105% => OK
No of words: 341.0 315.596192385 108% => OK
Chars per words: 4.95014662757 5.12529762239 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.29722995808 4.20363070211 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82384440612 2.80592935109 101% => OK
Unique words: 183.0 176.041082164 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.536656891496 0.561755894193 96% => OK
syllable_count: 543.6 506.74238477 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 5.43587174349 92% => OK
Article: 5.0 2.52805611222 198% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 0.809619238477 247% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 9.0 4.76152304609 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 16.0721442886 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 20.2975951904 128% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 56.4700266099 49.4020404114 114% => OK
Chars per sentence: 129.846153846 106.682146367 122% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.2307692308 20.7667163134 126% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.7692307692 7.06120827912 153% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.01903807615 80% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.67935871743 69% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.9879759519 125% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.276980247264 0.244688304435 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.109991624701 0.084324248473 130% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0798023894386 0.0667982634062 119% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.183180712898 0.151304729494 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0587978392443 0.056905535591 103% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.0 13.0946893788 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 50.2224549098 90% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 11.3001002004 119% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.73 12.4159519038 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.77 8.58950901804 102% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 78.4519038076 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 16.0 9.78957915832 163% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.1190380762 123% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.