Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child‘s development. However, others argue that other things like television or friends have the most significant influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Essay topics:

Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child‘s development.

However, others argue that other things like television or friends have the most

significant influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Human development is a complex interplay of many factors. Some individuals are of

the opinion that parents have the most significant role in a child‘s development

whereas others opine that friends and other environmental factors such as TV have

a more important role. It is necessary to look at both arguments before forming an

opinion.

Parents have direct interactions with the children. They provide a sense of

identification to the child. These have their greatest effect on intellectual

development and character traits. They also play a very important role in the

socializing process of the child. Right from the bed time stories to the behavioral

habits parents play a very important role in making a child a responsible citizen.

They know their child‘s temperament better than anyone else. They can provide

critical input better than anyone else. That is why it is believed by some that parents

have the strongest role in a child‘s development.

Friends, on the other hand, are important in order to help children grow emotionally

and socially. Children find out who they are by comparing themselves to others.

They learn about attitude, character and personality. Building good relationships

boosts a child‘s self esteem and they find comfort in those friendships when things

get tough such as losing a pet or facing family problems. Therefore, friendships are

essential to assure children develop a healthy psyche. When kids are surrounded by

friends or have one close friend, they have better self esteem, feel a sense of well

being and experience fewer social problems.

Television is also one of the most prevalent media influences in kids' lives. How

much impact TV has on children depends on many factors: how much they watch,

their age and personality, whether they watch alone or with adults, and whether their

parents talk with them about what they see on TV.

In my opinion, we cannot generalize as to what has more significance. In the early

years family generally has more impact but in adolescence peers and TV may

impact more. It appears that the power of the peer group becomes more important

when the family relationships are not close or supportive. For example, if the parents

work extra jobs and are largely unavailable, their children may turn to their peer

group for emotional support.

To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that behavior is affected by a complex

interaction of many different factors such as parents, peers and environment. All

these are inextricably linked in the development of children. There is individual

variation and therefore it is difficult to generalize which factor plays the most

significant role.

Votes
Average: 5.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 82, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...of many factors. Some individuals are of the opinion that parents have the most s...
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Line 3, column 86, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...icant role in a child's development whereas others opine that friends and ot...
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Line 5, column 82, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...er environmental factors such as TV have a more important role. It is necessary t...
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Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: A
...nvironmental factors such as TV have a more important role. It is necessary to...
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Line 7, column 83, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...look at both arguments before forming an opinion. Parents have direct interacti...
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Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: Opinion
... at both arguments before forming an opinion. Parents have direct interactions wit...
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Line 11, column 76, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...th the children. They provide a sense of identification to the child. These have ...
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Line 13, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: Identification
...he children. They provide a sense of identification to the child. These have their greatest...
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Line 13, column 78, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...ve their greatest effect on intellectual development and character traits. They a...
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Line 15, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: Development
...heir greatest effect on intellectual development and character traits. They also play a ...
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Line 15, column 78, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...y also play a very important role in the socializing process of the child. Right ...
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Line 17, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: Socializing
...so play a very important role in the socializing process of the child. Right from the be...
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Line 17, column 84, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...m the bed time stories to the behavioral habits parents play a very important rol...
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Line 19, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: Habits
...e bed time stories to the behavioral habits parents play a very important role in m...
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Line 21, column 83, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...etter than anyone else. They can provide critical input better than anyone else. ...
^^^^
Line 23, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: Critical
...r than anyone else. They can provide critical input better than anyone else. That is ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 23, column 88, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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... why it is believed by some that parents have the strongest role in a child'...
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Suggestion: Have
... it is believed by some that parents have the strongest role in a child's de...
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Line 27, column 85, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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... order to help children grow emotionally and socially. Children find out who they...
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Line 29, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: And
...er to help children grow emotionally and socially. Children find out who they ar...
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Line 31, column 82, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...personality. Building good relationships boosts a child's self esteem and th...
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Line 33, column 89, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...comfort in those friendships when things get tough such as losing a pet or facing...
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Line 35, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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...ort in those friendships when things get tough such as losing a pet or facing fa...
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Line 35, column 85, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...ily problems. Therefore, friendships are essential to assure children develop a h...
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Line 37, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: Essential
...problems. Therefore, friendships are essential to assure children develop a healthy ps...
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Line 37, column 56, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “When” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...sure children develop a healthy psyche. When kids are surrounded by friends or ha...
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Line 37, column 83, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...lthy psyche. When kids are surrounded by friends or have one close friend, they h...
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Line 39, column 85, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...better self esteem, feel a sense of well being and experience fewer social proble...
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Line 41, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: Being
...er self esteem, feel a sense of well being and experience fewer social problems. ...
^^^^^
Line 43, column 81, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...lent media influences in kids lives. How much impact TV has on children depends o...
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Line 45, column 77, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...ds on many factors: how much they watch, their age and personality, whether they ...
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Line 47, column 86, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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... alone or with adults, and whether their parents talk with them about what they s...
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Line 49, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: Parents
...ne or with adults, and whether their parents talk with them about what they see on T...
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Line 51, column 83, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...what has more significance. In the early years family generally has more impact b...
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Line 53, column 75, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...pact but in adolescence peers and TV may impact more. It appears that the power o...
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Line 55, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: Impact
... but in adolescence peers and TV may impact more. It appears that the power of the ...
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Line 55, column 80, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...of the peer group becomes more important when the family relationships are not cl...
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Line 57, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: When
...he peer group becomes more important when the family relationships are not close ...
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Line 57, column 87, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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... supportive. For example, if the parents work extra jobs and are largely unavaila...
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Line 59, column 83, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...e, their children may turn to their peer group for emotional support. To put i...
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Line 61, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: Group
...heir children may turn to their peer group for emotional support. To put it in ...
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Line 63, column 82, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...g that behavior is affected by a complex interaction of many different factors su...
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Suggestion: Interaction
...at behavior is affected by a complex interaction of many different factors such as paren...
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Line 65, column 16, Rule ID: NUMEROUS_DIFFERENT[1]
Message: Use simply 'many'.
Suggestion: many
...affected by a complex interaction of many different factors such as parents, peers and envi...
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Line 65, column 82, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...h as parents, peers and environment. All these are inextricably linked in the dev...
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Line 67, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: These
... parents, peers and environment. All these are inextricably linked in the developm...
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Line 67, column 82, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...lopment of children. There is individual variation and therefore it is difficult ...
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Line 69, column 82, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...o generalize which factor plays the most significant role.
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Line 71, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: Significant
...neralize which factor plays the most significant role.
^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, look, may, so, therefore, well, whereas, as to, for example, such as, in my opinion, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 13.1623246493 129% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 7.85571142285 51% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 10.4138276553 163% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 7.30460921844 151% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 24.0651302605 150% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 50.0 41.998997996 119% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.3376753507 156% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2345.0 1615.20841683 145% => OK
No of words: 437.0 315.596192385 138% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.36613272311 5.12529762239 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57214883401 4.20363070211 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.92627871214 2.80592935109 104% => OK
Unique words: 227.0 176.041082164 129% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.519450800915 0.561755894193 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 699.3 506.74238477 138% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 5.43587174349 276% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 0.809619238477 247% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 16.0721442886 162% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.2975951904 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 50.2914729206 49.4020404114 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.1923076923 106.682146367 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.8076923077 20.7667163134 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.5 7.06120827912 64% => OK
Paragraphs: 34.0 4.38176352705 776% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 49.0 5.01903807615 976% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.67935871743 173% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 3.4128256513 234% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.26213599685 0.244688304435 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0703304123796 0.084324248473 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0974753528878 0.0667982634062 146% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0632105635951 0.151304729494 42% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0886811875698 0.056905535591 156% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.3 13.0946893788 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 50.2224549098 110% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 11.3001002004 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.57 12.4159519038 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.12 8.58950901804 95% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 78.4519038076 130% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 9.78957915832 66% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.1190380762 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Maximum five paragraphs wanted.

Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.