some people think that criminals should be given longer terms in prison, so as to reduce the crime rate. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essay topics:

some people think that criminals should be given longer terms in prison, so as to reduce the crime rate. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

criminal is an act of crime that happens among peoples such as murder, theft, or sexual crime. In this topic, some people think that criminals should be given longer terms in prison, so as to reduce the crime rate. I disagree that criminals must be given longer sentence in jail to decrease the crime rate because the length of the sentence does not determine to change the way of their lives and emergence a sense of injustice.

Firstly, duration of the sentence does not determine to change the way of their lives. By through period of punishment they are able to change the way of their lives. this is because at the time they were serving a sentence they can find the new journey of their lives because of the learning they got in a prison as they found their expertise from the program of jail. Therefore, be given longer terms for criminals in jail doesn't determine criminals to commit crime again even if criminals got a sentence longer than specified then they grudge againt law enforcement. In brief, criminals should not be given longer period of their punishment to reduce the crime rate.

Secondly, criminals will feel emergence of injustice. By having felings like that will have bad impact for criminals, so this can actually make crime rates rise due to this inequity. Consecuently, this feeling of inequity causes resentment for criminals and does not cause a deterrent effect to reduce the crime rate. In short, give a long sentence than specified to criminals can make feel injustice for criminals.

In conclusion, give a long terms in jail to criminals will give bad effect for theirselves and doesn't determine to decrease the crime rate.

Votes
Average: 5.6 (1 vote)
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IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
criminal is an act of crime that happens...
^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 9, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Criminal
criminal is an act of crime that happens among p...
^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 192, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...should be given longer terms in prison, so as to reduce the crime rate. I disagree that ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nd emergence a sense of injustice. Firstly, duration of the sentenc...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 176, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
... able to change the way of their lives. this is because at the time they were servin...
^^^^
Line 9, column 434, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...iven longer terms for criminals in jail doesnt determine criminals to commit crime aga...
^^^^^^
Line 13, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nishment to reduce the crime rate. Secondly, criminals will feel eme...
^^^^^^^
Line 21, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...make feel injustice for criminals. In conclusion, give a long terms ...
^^^^^^^
Line 25, column 103, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ill give bad effect for theirselves and doesnt determine to decrease the crime rate.
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, first, firstly, if, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, as to, in brief, in conclusion, in short, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 13.1623246493 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 7.85571142285 115% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 10.4138276553 38% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 4.0 7.30460921844 55% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 24.0651302605 91% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 41.998997996 100% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.3376753507 156% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1406.0 1615.20841683 87% => OK
No of words: 285.0 315.596192385 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.93333333333 5.12529762239 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.10876417139 4.20363070211 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.49798934227 2.80592935109 89% => OK
Unique words: 128.0 176.041082164 73% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.449122807018 0.561755894193 80% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 432.9 506.74238477 85% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 5.43587174349 55% => OK
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.10420841683 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.76152304609 126% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 16.0721442886 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 20.2975951904 103% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.5883566543 49.4020404114 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.153846154 106.682146367 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.9230769231 20.7667163134 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.07692307692 7.06120827912 129% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.01903807615 179% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 8.67935871743 12% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 3.9879759519 301% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.4128256513 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.338770833367 0.244688304435 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.150876171827 0.084324248473 179% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.173704422729 0.0667982634062 260% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.22510215142 0.151304729494 149% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.150683234291 0.056905535591 265% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 13.0946893788 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 50.2224549098 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 11.3001002004 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.31 12.4159519038 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.28 8.58950901804 85% => OK
difficult_words: 47.0 78.4519038076 60% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 9.78957915832 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.1190380762 103% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.7795591182 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.