Subjects such as Art, Sport and Music are being dropped from the school curriculum for subjects such as Information Technology. Many people think children suffer as a result of these changes. To what extent would support or reject the idea of moving these subjects from school curriculum?
Whether subjects such as Art, Sport and Music should be not in the international school curriculum is a major topic of concern in modern society. Although there are many individuals who regards this as an pressing problem for future generations where Information Technology may surpass others, I am of the opinion that this development is crucial for our not-too-distant future.
On the one hand, as regards the traditional subjects, namely Art, Sport and Music, the immense benefits which they bring to society are critically important to them in several aspects. First, Art could grant children the opportunity to use their imagination to create a variety of useful products for selling to native customers or even to foreign clients. Second, Sport is an appropriate method for young students to improve their health by taking exercises on a regular basis. Music could give them a practical way to show the quality of their voice in tandem with pushing the students towards being interested in a large number of subjects presented at school.
On the other hand, as regards the benefits of the advanced subject such as Information Technology, this drastic change could be of paramount importance to the sustainable development of the international community. Under today’s context of globalization and international integration, focusing on aspects like this would give the children a reliable method to have access to a wealth of knowledge written in a variety of areas. Therefore, they might become experts in those modern factors in the near future after acquiring the skills that are required by those fields such as problem-solving, and making the most of the resources which are already in computers. An excellent example of this is that, in this day and age, governments from many nations are putting efforts into this field to provide the young students a chance to approach the education.
From the issues outlined above, one may conclude that even though the traditional subjects bring to society many advantages, I contend that the world should more focus on technological subjects like Information Technology because of the benefits stemming from them for young students, ranging from teaching them the abilities needed for their not-too-distant future to even providing them a valuable opportunity for me to have access to a variety of areas.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 203, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...re many individuals who regards this as an pressing problem for future generations...
^^
Line 3, column 617, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...he students towards being interested in a large number of subjects presented at school. On the ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, may, second, so, therefore, as regards, such as, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 13.1623246493 91% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 7.85571142285 115% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 10.4138276553 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 7.30460921844 123% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 24.0651302605 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 62.0 41.998997996 148% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.3376753507 120% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1990.0 1615.20841683 123% => OK
No of words: 378.0 315.596192385 120% => OK
Chars per words: 5.26455026455 5.12529762239 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40933352052 4.20363070211 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.97302359435 2.80592935109 106% => OK
Unique words: 202.0 176.041082164 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.534391534392 0.561755894193 95% => OK
syllable_count: 621.0 506.74238477 123% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 5.43587174349 74% => OK
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 16.0721442886 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 34.0 20.2975951904 168% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 83.6272722331 49.4020404114 169% => OK
Chars per sentence: 180.909090909 106.682146367 170% => OK
Words per sentence: 34.3636363636 20.7667163134 165% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.63636363636 7.06120827912 94% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.01903807615 40% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.67935871743 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.227897307351 0.244688304435 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0877675550411 0.084324248473 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0677232547627 0.0667982634062 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.143208509241 0.151304729494 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0370743116108 0.056905535591 65% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 20.5 13.0946893788 157% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 36.97 50.2224549098 74% => OK
smog_index: 13.0 7.44779559118 175% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.6 11.3001002004 147% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.82 12.4159519038 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.63 8.58950901804 112% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 78.4519038076 131% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.5 9.78957915832 158% => OK
gunning_fog: 15.6 10.1190380762 154% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 10.7795591182 148% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.