taken from Cambridge 8, test 4, writing section task 2.
In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing.
What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
A number of countries note a growing number of obese people alongside with a drop of healthiness. Certain reasons are believed underneath these problems, and some actions could be taken to tackle this. This essay should explains furthermore.
Obesity is believed to be caused by some obvious reasons, particularly the modern lifestyle. This impression is formed by the fact that the people, especially who live in urban area, are extremely busy leading them to unhealthy lifestyle. The demanding outcome deliberately make people to be more productive consuming mostly their time. With only have a l...
Sentence: This essay should explains furthermore.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to should and explains
The demanding outcome deliberately make people
The demanding outcome deliberately makes people
Sentence: With all of this combination for resolving this problem, the mean of people's weight should be gradually lowered, and the problem following can be minimalized.
Error: minimalized Suggestion: minimized
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 271 350
No. of Characters: 1400 1500
No. of Different Words: 155 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.057 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.166 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.671 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 114 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 74 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 52 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.067 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.961 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.267 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.349 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.536 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.104 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5