The use of electronic media has a negative effect on personal relationships between people To what extent do you agree or disagree

Essay topics:

The use of electronic media has a negative effect on personal relationships between people.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Since the invention of modern technology, people start to behave differently with their peers. It is sometimes argued that the intervention of electronic devices is harmful for their mutual lives. In my opinion, I believe that its interposition has a valuable aspect for people's connection in general.

To begin, people, who argue that the modern media such as computer and mobile phone has a negative effect, may claim that they tend to become selfish beings. In the past, people valued the intimacy of relationship by time spending together with their friends for example. Today, however, moder...

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people has to consider.
people have to consider.

This type of relationship which involving the same hobbies will make relationship priceless and last longer.
This type of relationship involving the same hobbies will make relationship priceless and last longer.
This type of relationship which involves the same hobbies will make relationship priceless and last longer.

flaws:
No. of Words: 256 350

More content wanted. Try to put one more paragraph in the essay body. try this pattern:

paragraph 1: introduction. Your ideas/opinions here.

paragraph 2: Admittedly, there are some advantages of side A. First, ... Second, ...

paragraph 3: However, still I support side B. reason 1 + why reason 1 + example for reason 1 + a small conclusion for reason 1.

paragraph 4: reason 2 + why reason 2 + example for reason 2+ a small conclusion for reason 2.

paragraph 5: conclusion.
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Read a real story by a testbig user why more content:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/some-people-prefer-spend-their-live…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 256 350
No. of Characters: 1337 1500
No. of Different Words: 159 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.223 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.862 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 101 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 71 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.692 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.402 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.769 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.363 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.57 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.072 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5