Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement

Essay topics:

Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life.
To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The difference between the role of mom and dad in a family is still a controversial problem. it is thought that women are better at taking care of children than men so they should focus on it more and minimize the working life. In my opinion, I strongly do not concur with this statement.
According to me, every now and then, many people believe that women always be the one who look after their children while men are breadwinners like a truth, a fact. it cannot be denied that women were born to have the caring, patience and a warm heart to listen to people’s problem, so that the instinct of women make them a great mother but people maybe understand that women only have ability to raise kids, which is extremely mistaken. Because by the way, men can be a good father and play an important role in children grown-up process in some others. men will give their children many life-lessons, the discipline, a little bit stricter than mothers do. However, youngsters who are brought up and taught by both moms and dads, they not only happier but also grow up into a good, kind and successful citizens. Furthermore, childcare helps fathers understand their children and be closer to them, which contribute to a happy family.

Additionally, if men share childcare with women, it leads to an equal between two genders. women have their own passions, dreams, if they only focus on being with kids, they don’t have any time to work on their favors, things they love to do. love is sharing, a family is perfect when husband and wife can share with each other about childcare so both will have the chance to follow their own dreams, career. Moreover, women are able to make more money for the family. women are good at many fields, not just be housewives. For example, many great females all over the world, they are presidents, CEOs, founders of well-known companies, …their children are still raised really good. so the more women have jobs, the more recognizes they can gain from society, men and women are all equal. Especially, in the past women had to sacrifice for their family a lot.

To sum up, women now can do lots of things also earn money by themselves and they need to focus on their careers, husbands in any phenomenon should support their wives.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 94, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...amily is still a controversial problem. it is thought that women are better at tak...
^^
Line 1, column 290, Rule ID: ACCORDING_TO_ME[1]
Message: This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using 'in my opinion' or 'I think'.
Suggestion: In my opinion; I think
...ngly do not concur with this statement. According to me, every now and then, many people believ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 18, Rule ID: EVERY_NOW_AND_THEN[1]
Message: Use simply 'now and then'.
Suggestion: now and then
... with this statement. According to me, every now and then, many people believe that women always ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 165, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
... are breadwinners like a truth, a fact. it cannot be denied that women were born t...
^^
Line 2, column 556, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Men
...ildren grown-up process in some others. men will give their children many life-less...
^^^
Line 2, column 622, Rule ID: LITTLE_BIT[1]
Message: Reduce redundancy by using 'little' or 'bit'.
Suggestion: little; bit
...en many life-lessons, the discipline, a little bit stricter than mothers do. However, youn...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 92, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Women
... leads to an equal between two genders. women have their own passions, dreams, if the...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 470, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Women
...able to make more money for the family. women are good at many fields, not just be ho...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 684, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
... children are still raised really good. so the more women have jobs, the more reco...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, however, if, look, may, moreover, really, so, still, then, well, while, for example, by the way, in my opinion, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 13.1623246493 152% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 7.85571142285 127% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 10.4138276553 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 7.30460921844 137% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 24.0651302605 141% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 52.0 41.998997996 124% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.3376753507 36% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1870.0 1615.20841683 116% => OK
No of words: 400.0 315.596192385 127% => OK
Chars per words: 4.675 5.12529762239 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.472135955 4.20363070211 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.4366985862 2.80592935109 87% => OK
Unique words: 214.0 176.041082164 122% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.535 0.561755894193 95% => OK
syllable_count: 571.5 506.74238477 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.60771543086 87% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 5.43587174349 129% => OK
Article: 6.0 2.52805611222 237% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 4.0 2.10420841683 190% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 16.0721442886 112% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.2975951904 108% => OK
Sentence length SD: 52.906859692 49.4020404114 107% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.888888889 106.682146367 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.2222222222 20.7667163134 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.05555555556 7.06120827912 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.01903807615 179% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.67935871743 161% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.360838580353 0.244688304435 147% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.117692484686 0.084324248473 140% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0895235303401 0.0667982634062 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.241883345288 0.151304729494 160% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0870185499038 0.056905535591 153% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 13.0946893788 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 66.07 50.2224549098 132% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 11.3001002004 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.1 12.4159519038 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.41 8.58950901804 86% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 78.4519038076 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 9.78957915832 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.1190380762 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.7795591182 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.