Writing task 2Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.Discuss both these vi

Essay topics:

Writing task 2

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

Discuss both these views and give your opinion

People think that sharing much information of business, scientific research, and academic work should be encouraged. But sometimes, sharing that information is not as innocuous as we think. On the passages below, I will discuss both of views about this issue.

We are living in the Age of Information, which we can share easily knowledge on everything, bringing many benefits to human. Scientists can corporate together to investigate the innovative treatment for incurred diseases and conduct experiment on different condition to figure out the new prescription for patient. The more knowledge we share, the more we find out solution for problem we have. Globalization is another example of positive effect for sharing information. The rich nations can support to the poor countries with advanced technology, forming international corporation to decrease high price products and creating thousand employments to increase high living standard. There are a lot of good reasons for encouraging sharing as much information as possible.

However, in some case we should control revealing sensitive information related to defense industry or military research. Terrorists always try to steal secret research from developed nations to serve for their plot. Thus, the government should impose law to control leaking information such as limiting the number of student enrolling to the advanced technology. Besides, the authorities should have policy to regulate new experiment, which correlated to humanity. The clone humanity, a controversy about humanitarian and the need for scientific research, is the absolute example of this issue. We cannot provide this information freely to avoid any abuse for the inappropriate aim.

In my opinion, sharing information should be considered carefully, and be controlled by government in some industry. We can share advanced medical research, business strategy or general academic knowledge, but not the information on defense or sensitive field without approval from authorities.

Hopefully receive your feedback about my essay, and the suggestion for improving as well as the possible band score.
Many thanks
CHAU NGUYEN

Votes
Average: 8.4 (1 vote)
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2018-08-07 Doc@2018 22 view

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 362, Rule ID: CONFUSION_OF_OUR_OUT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'our'?
Suggestion: our
...re knowledge we share, the more we find out solution for problem we have. Globaliza...
^^^
Line 3, column 629, Rule ID: NODT_DOZEN[1]
Message: Use simply: 'a thousand'.
Suggestion: a thousand
...crease high price products and creating thousand employments to increase high living sta...
^^^^^^^^
Line 10, column 12, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...as the possible band score. Many thanks CHAU NGUYEN
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, but, however, if, so, thus, well, such as, as well as, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 13.1623246493 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 7.85571142285 153% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 10.4138276553 106% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 7.30460921844 55% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 19.0 24.0651302605 79% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 41.998997996 98% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 8.3376753507 252% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1848.0 1615.20841683 114% => OK
No of words: 324.0 315.596192385 103% => OK
Chars per words: 5.7037037037 5.12529762239 111% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.24264068712 4.20363070211 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.04618215604 2.80592935109 109% => OK
Unique words: 195.0 176.041082164 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.601851851852 0.561755894193 107% => OK
syllable_count: 581.4 506.74238477 115% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.60771543086 112% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 5.43587174349 74% => OK
Article: 7.0 2.52805611222 277% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 0.0 2.10420841683 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 5.0 0.809619238477 618% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.76152304609 63% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 16.0721442886 118% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.2975951904 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 43.8432741362 49.4020404114 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.2631578947 106.682146367 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.0526315789 20.7667163134 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.05263157895 7.06120827912 57% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.38176352705 114% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.01903807615 60% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.67935871743 150% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.221181521045 0.244688304435 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0775774276312 0.084324248473 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0808583616262 0.0667982634062 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.144425778747 0.151304729494 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.098938724054 0.056905535591 174% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 13.0946893788 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.3 50.2224549098 74% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 11.3001002004 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.48 12.4159519038 125% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.6 8.58950901804 112% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 78.4519038076 134% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 9.78957915832 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.1190380762 87% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.