25/09/2017 Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas.To what extent do you agree

Essay topics:

25/09/2017 Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Many aver that wealthy countries ought to help those states that are less well-off with organizing trade, health care and system of education. I disagree with this prospect and reasons on which my stance is based will be discussed in details below.

On the one hand, wealthy states ought to help developing states to advance essential social institutions because of several reasons. Firstly, for many generations western countries have been accumulating a considerable volume of valuable expertise in economics, law enforcement, medical care and education and those nations are morally obliged to pass this knowledge down to those who need it. Secondly, taking more responsibilities and helping poor states to develop will bring prosperity and stability to those problematic regions; consequently, this will stop the undesirable flow of refugees and immigrants to the well-off states. In other words, giving a helping hand to poorer nations has some conspicuous benefits.

On the other hand, there are some reservations about blindly taking responsibility for the states with a weak economy. Primarily, investment of a considerable amount of money will likely put the receiving side in adverse, even dependent position. In fact, oftentimes financial or humanitarian aid is used as a leverage to steer political decisions in the favor of the giving side. Furthermore, even giving resources without asking for favors in return may have an adverse influence on trade, education, and health in a long run because poorer states may not be able to maintain well-functioning of those institutions without foreign help. To illustrate, as a child that has had since the early days helpers that dress him will not be able to dress himself in an adult life without caregivers. In the same vein, developing countries that rely heavily on the west’s aid and advice could not design needed structures or be able to develop them on their own. Those are plausible disadvantages of helping poorer states.

In my opinion, providing poor states with resources, helping with the expertise to establish efficient health trade and education system should be done extremely carefully due to the developing states must stay independent and resourceful.

Votes
Average: 7.5 (3 votes)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 47, Rule ID: ADVISE_VBG[5]
Message: The verb 'help' is used with infinitive: 'to develop' or 'develop'.
Suggestion: to develop; develop
... one hand, wealthy states ought to help developing states to advance essential social inst...
^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, first, firstly, furthermore, if, may, second, secondly, so, well, in fact, in my opinion, in other words, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 13.1623246493 91% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 7.85571142285 165% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 10.4138276553 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 7.30460921844 96% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 24.0651302605 91% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 41.998997996 133% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.3376753507 96% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1894.0 1615.20841683 117% => OK
No of words: 351.0 315.596192385 111% => OK
Chars per words: 5.39601139601 5.12529762239 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.32839392791 4.20363070211 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.99500264233 2.80592935109 107% => OK
Unique words: 199.0 176.041082164 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.566951566952 0.561755894193 101% => OK
syllable_count: 602.1 506.74238477 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 5.43587174349 55% => OK
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.76152304609 147% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 16.0721442886 87% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.2975951904 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 62.956455635 49.4020404114 127% => OK
Chars per sentence: 135.285714286 106.682146367 127% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.0714285714 20.7667163134 121% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.78571428571 7.06120827912 139% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.67935871743 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.9879759519 125% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.18111899379 0.244688304435 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0635470338068 0.084324248473 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0475118094235 0.0667982634062 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.106874928844 0.151304729494 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0458281328353 0.056905535591 81% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.5 13.0946893788 126% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.64 50.2224549098 75% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 11.3001002004 126% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.34 12.4159519038 115% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.38 8.58950901804 109% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 78.4519038076 127% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 9.78957915832 153% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.1190380762 119% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.7795591182 139% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Primarily, investment of a considerable amount of money
Primarily, the investment of a considerable amount of money
Primarily, investing a considerable amount of money

as a child that has had since the early days helpers that dress him
as a child who has had since the early days helpers who dress him

due to the developing states must stay independent and resourceful.
Description: should not bring a complete sentence after 'due to'

----------------------
flaws:
1. No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2

2. Don't repeat words like: ought to, adverse

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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 351 350
No. of Characters: 1841 1500
No. of Different Words: 194 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.328 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.245 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.908 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 142 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 106 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 71 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 60 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.071 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.2 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.339 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.526 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.088 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5

Dear Sir,
- Did I write on the topic?

- did I correctly understand that in the first body para I must write why richer states should help poorer ones?

- why did I score 7? What should I change to get 7.5 or 8

thank you.

- Did I write on the topic? //yes

- did I correctly understand that in the first body para I must write why richer states should help poorer ones? //yes

- why did I score 7? What should I change to get 7.5 or 8 //look at the flaws:

1. No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2

2. Don't repeat words like: ought to, adverse

Those three grammar errors have appeared in other of your essays before, but you didn't pay attention to them.

and for repeated words, they will give examiners bad expressions.

so how to do to get 7.5 or 8, the first step is:

1. remove all grammatical issues

2. remove all duplicated words/phrases

so after essay writing, give 3-5 minutes review and try to pick up those errors.