People live longer today and so people should stay in the workforce longer To what extent do you agree or disagree

Essay topics:

People live longer today and so people should stay in the workforce longer.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a vast development in the current medical field due to which there is a considerable increase in average life expectancy in humans. There is an ongoing debate that people live longer life and there is a need to raise the retention period in workforce. I completely disagree with this notion and I believe that raising the retirement age will not benefit the organisation and society.

To begin with, retaining old employees will not benefit the company in longer term. Firstly, older people are not easily adaptive to new change. In today's trend it is imperative to update the skills in order to align with rapid changes in technological advancement. So organisation will find difficult to implement the new process among older people. As a consequence company may incur some loss due to shortage in skill set. Secondly, there would be a decrease in productivity because elderly people will have some health issues and they may require some frequent leaves. Finally, company has to pay more salary to senior staff. This will be a huge burden to mid size company that yields very less profits.

Furthermore, extending retention period in organisation will create an unemployment issues among younger generation. There is a steady increase in younger population when compared to last two decades. If elderly people are retained for longer period then there will be very less job vacancy. Due to lack of job many youngsters may indulge in theft and other unethical means of earning money. This will lead to increase in crime rate and pose great threat to society. For example, in recent study conducted by United Nations concluded that the unemployment rate in India is around 60% in the age group of 20 to 40 years old. Hence Government is planning to cut down retirement age at least by five years to increase the employment opportunities for young people to benefit.

In conclusion, I strongly opine that people should not be retained for longer period in workplace. An equal opportunities should be created for the benefit of young people and organisations.

Votes
Average: 8.1 (3 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 352, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ent the new process among older people. As a consequence company may incur some lo...
^^
Line 3, column 695, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun profits is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...en to mid size company that yields very less profits. Furthermore, extending rete...
^^^^
Line 5, column 274, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...or longer period then there will be very less job vacancy. Due to lack of job man...
^^
Line 5, column 571, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...uded that the unemployment rate in India is around 60% in the age group of 20 to ...
^^
Line 5, column 627, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...in the age group of 20 to 40 years old. Hence Government is planning to cut down reti...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 109, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'opportunity'?
Suggestion: opportunity
...or longer period in workplace. An equal opportunities should be created for the benefit of yo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, firstly, furthermore, hence, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, as to, at least, for example, in conclusion, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 13.1623246493 114% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 7.85571142285 191% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 10.4138276553 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 7.30460921844 96% => OK
Pronoun: 13.0 24.0651302605 54% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 41.998997996 124% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 8.3376753507 204% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1734.0 1615.20841683 107% => OK
No of words: 345.0 315.596192385 109% => OK
Chars per words: 5.02608695652 5.12529762239 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3097767484 4.20363070211 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78657627769 2.80592935109 99% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 176.041082164 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.550724637681 0.561755894193 98% => OK
syllable_count: 558.9 506.74238477 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 5.43587174349 74% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 16.0721442886 124% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.2975951904 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 29.6264662084 49.4020404114 60% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 86.7 106.682146367 81% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.25 20.7667163134 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.0 7.06120827912 99% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.01903807615 120% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.67935871743 81% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 3.9879759519 251% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.165194276914 0.244688304435 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0509261542037 0.084324248473 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0636237052823 0.0667982634062 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.117802293157 0.151304729494 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0495662936962 0.056905535591 87% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.9 13.0946893788 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 50.2224549098 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 11.3001002004 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.6 12.4159519038 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.55 8.58950901804 100% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 78.4519038076 113% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 9.78957915832 87% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.1190380762 87% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.