Compare and contrast the advantages and disadvantages of using a cellphone. Give illustrations and reasons to support your opinion.

Using cellphone these days become s so important thing in our life we can't put it away or live without cellphone because it has many advantages for example , i was talking my son when he was travelling I couldn't wait untill his coming i wanted to be sure that he was doing good and everything was well. So we can reach other by it, we can ask on each other in anytime no need untill be at home to ask on somthing or talk to anybody, when my hazband at his work and the same thing for me , sometimes one of us can't picks our kids so just text him a message and that's it ,everything is becoming easy by using cellphone, i remembered when my sister had a delivery i kept talking with her hasband and i knew all the details furthermore many cellphone has a camera that can take a lot of pictures and save a lot of memories. In addition to that many cellphone has an internet so this has a lot of uses i was connectting with my brother's in low phone and he was letting me saw thier baby i felt i 'm with them instead of long distance between us, i saw everything and at the same time i was with my family at my home. Moreover there are a lot of new technologies that are useful in the cellphones that lets us leave the original phone, camera, even the television. I did my interview for my job by using the cellphone.

on the other hand there are disadvantages of using cellphone , before several years there were no cellphone,when somebody wants to see others he rided his car and went to see them ,now by using cellphone at any were and any time,we just did a fast call and that's it. I thing it was much better relations between family, between friends , in addition of using social media of the phone and some people play games with their cellphones ,we become more silent at our home to have time for using our phones ,it's like a new barrier that creates between hasband and wife ,and between parents and their kids.so we should use it carefully and take only a benift from it.

In conclusion While there are many arguments on both sides of issue but if it comes to me i see the using of cellphone is an urgent thing in our modern life but we should use it well, for the reasons mentioed above.

Votes
Average: 5 (1 vote)
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Independent TOEFL Writing

I thing it was much better relations between family,
I think it had much better relations between families,

Sentence: Using cellphone these days become s so important thing in our life we can't put it away or live without cellphone because it has many advantages for example , i was talking my son when he was travelling I couldn't wait untill his coming i wanted to be sure that he was doing good and everything was well.
Error: untill Suggestion: until

Sentence: So we can reach other by it, we can ask on each other in anytime no need untill be at home to ask on somthing or talk to anybody, when my hazband at his work and the same thing for me , sometimes one of us can't picks our kids so just text him a message and that's it ,everything is becoming easy by using cellphone, i remembered when my sister had a delivery i kept talking with her hasband and i knew all the details furthermore many cellphone has a camera that can take a lot of pictures and
Error: untill Suggestion: until
Error: hasband Suggestion: husband
Error: hazband Suggestion: husband
Error: somthing Suggestion: something

Sentence: In addition to that many cellphone has an internet so this has a lot of uses i was connectting with my brother's in low phone and he was letting me saw thier baby i felt i 'm with them instead of long distance between us, i saw everything and at the same time i was with my family at my home.
Error: connectting Suggestion: connecting
Error: thier Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: on the other hand there are disadvantages of using cellphone , before several years there were no cellphone,when somebody wants to see others he rided his car and went to see them ,now by using cellphone at any were and any time,we just did a fast call and that's it.
Error: rided Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: I thing it was much better relations between family, between friends , in addition of using social media of the phone and some people play games with their cellphones ,we become more silent at our home to have time for using our phones ,it's like a new barrier that creates between hasband and wife ,and between parents and their kids.so we should use it carefully and take only a benift from it.
Error: hasband Suggestion: husband
Error: benift Suggestion: benefit

Sentence: In conclusion While there are many arguments on both sides of issue but if it comes to me i see the using of cellphone is an urgent thing in our modern life but we should use it well, for the reasons mentioed above.
Error: mentioed Suggestion: mentioned

flaws:
1. Need one introduction paragraph

2. More sentences varieties wanted. Try to use less pronouns or not to use pronouns (like 'It, I, They, We, You...') as the subject of a sentence.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 16 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 12 2
No. of Sentences: 9 15
No. of Words: 424 350
No. of Characters: 1748 1500
No. of Different Words: 203 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.538 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.123 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.335 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 99 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 70 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 44 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 47.111 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 28.231 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.778 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.451 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.614 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.274 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5