Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All students should be required to study art and music in secondary school. Use specific reasons to support your answer.
When it comes to the issue the importance of art and music, some people believe that school should teach art and music like other basic science to students. However, others have the opposite view. As far as I am concerned the former point carries more weight. I take this position on account for the following reasons.
First and the most important reason is that art and music can helps students to better learn and concentrate on their education. As we all know, schools, which teach just theoretical courses, have the harsh atmosphere and students usually have not enough enthusiasm for going there. Art and music classes ameliorate this condition and make the school an attractive place for students. I think that there is no better example than myself, when I was teaching mathematics in a high school. At that time, student had to take several scientific coerces everyday, which lead them to exhausted more. In this way, I always saw that students do not attention on what I said in the class. Eventually, I and administer of school decided to change the list of curriculum and allows students to have some art and music, which are students’ desirable, in their schedule. In this way, these course changes the atmosphere of the school and enhance students’ enthusiasm for studying.
A further point we must consider is that students can have more chances for finding a job in future by learning art and music. It is known, the unemployment is the trouble crisis not only in the poor country, but also in the developed Western countries. Hence, the schools have to prepare students and increase their ability for have more job opportunities. It is quite normal that students who learned music can work in concert halls, students who learned painting can work in art galleries, and students who learn theater can work in movie theaters. Nowadays, many countries acquire a great part of their budget from artistic works like French that attract plenty of tourism every year because of the art museums.
Apart from points I made above, the school can increases students’ knowledge by allocating some time school to art and music. The main aim of the formal education is to give knowledge in all areas to students, so we can not ignore art and music from this rule. In fact, any kinds of art and music course give different knowledge to students. For instance, painting leads students to look at the real world from several aspects. Music classes allow students to appreciate more beauties and have better attitude toward their circumstance.
All above evidence support this undeniable fact that teaching art and music in schools increase students’ learning performance, enhance their knowledge, and provide more job opportunities. Of course, it is possible someone disagrees with this matter, but no one can deny positive effects of art and music on students’ education process.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 198, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...However, others have the opposite view. As far as I am concerned the former point ...
^^
Line 3, column 63, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[2]
Message: The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: 'help'
Suggestion: help
...ortant reason is that art and music can helps students to better learn and concentrat...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 550, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
... had to take several scientific coerces everyday, which lead them to exhausted more. In ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 458, Rule ID: AFFORD_VBG[1]
Message: This verb is used with infinitive: 'to paint'.
Suggestion: to paint
... in concert halls, students who learned painting can work in art galleries, and students...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 48, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[2]
Message: The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: 'increase'
Suggestion: increase
...rom points I made above, the school can increases students' knowledge by allocating ...
^^^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'first', 'hence', 'however', 'if', 'look', 'so', 'thus', 'apart from', 'as to', 'for instance', 'i think', 'in fact', 'of course']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.286496350365 0.229887763892 125% => OK
Verbs: 0.144160583942 0.158761421928 91% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0748175182482 0.0866891130778 86% => OK
Adverbs: 0.036496350365 0.046263068375 79% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0419708029197 0.0685040099705 61% => OK
Prepositions: 0.11496350365 0.118717715034 97% => OK
Participles: 0.0237226277372 0.0351676179071 67% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.71609332086 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0255474452555 0.0309702414327 82% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.00188951952338 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.0839416058394 0.0887237588012 95% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0182481751825 0.0209618222197 87% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0164233576642 0.0139019557991 118% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2918.0 2387.08602151 122% => OK
No of words: 482.0 408.028673835 118% => OK
Chars per words: 6.05394190871 5.86048508987 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68556276237 4.48200974243 105% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.365145228216 0.338922669872 108% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.282157676349 0.251872472559 112% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.195020746888 0.174417080927 112% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.120331950207 0.112833075102 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71609332086 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 243.0 212.727598566 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.504149377593 0.524397521467 96% => OK
Word variations: 58.7626400001 59.2087087015 99% => OK
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6684587814 116% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0833333333 20.5533526081 98% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.6155544575 48.84282405 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.583333333 120.699889404 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0833333333 20.5533526081 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.625 0.644075263715 97% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.5376344086 110% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.54480286738 90% => OK
Readability: 48.2991009682 45.7405998639 106% => OK
Elegance: 1.90983606557 1.45489161554 131% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.345112832207 0.300154397459 115% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0789631566087 0.103427244359 76% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0720870814636 0.0752933317313 96% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.497191483288 0.497263757937 100% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.139416642272 0.151897553556 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.133480843301 0.114077575197 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0701219974957 0.0781384742642 90% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.416742673888 0.336927656856 124% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0479490889431 0.067059652881 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.242316617849 0.210909579961 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0595915897824 0.0618886996521 96% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8870967742 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.86379928315 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.91756272401 163% => OK
Positive topic words: 11.0 8.42114695341 131% => OK
Negative topic words: 3.0 2.4623655914 122% => OK
Neutral topic words: 6.0 2.75985663082 217% => OK
Total topic words: 20.0 13.6433691756 147% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
---------------------
Rates: 86.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 26.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.