Any issue related to famous entertainers and athletes is bound to attract a large amount of attention. The argument about whether these famous people deserve to have more privacy than they have now has been ongoing for a long period of time. Some people support the view that famous people should enjoy more privacy as they should have the privacy when they are off work. However, others don't agree with it and hold different opinions. As far as I am concerned, I agree with the statement that famous entertainers and athletes deserve more privacy and I will develop my ideas in following paragraphs.
To begin with, famous people can recharge from their personal life and make better performance. With the personal room and time, the entertainers and athletes can relax and make better performance. Imagine if we go to a vacation, there are cameras everywhere, are we able to relax and chill? The entertainers and athletes usually have to spend a lot of time and efforts to practice, if they can acquire energy from their private life, they can definitely do better on their work. For example, one of the famous singer in my country, Amy, she decided to go on a long vacation to recharge herself. She asked the media and fans to give her some privacy so that she can take some good rests and focus on her new album in the future. One year later, she showed up again with amazing now songs. As a result, I maintain famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy.
Secondly, famous entertainers and athletes should have more privacy for safety reason. There are some accidents that famous entertainers and athletes got injured due to lack of privacy. People always like gossip news. Therefore, some reporters and media like to stalk the private life of famous people and publish where the famous people go one vacation and disclose their personal schedules. It trigger some crazy fans chasing the famous people and occurred some incidents. For instance, there were news that a famous Korea star spent vacation on a small island. So a passionate fan visited the island and tried to get closed to the Korea star. In the end, the Korea star got injured because of the inappropriate action from his fans. For this reason, I think famous people should have the privacy as fans are more passionate nowadays.
In light of reasons above, I strongly believe famous entertainers and athletes should have more privacy than they have now.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 227, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...ey have now has been ongoing for a long period of time. Some people support the view that famo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 389, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...when they are off work. However, others dont agree with it and hold different opinio...
^^^^
Line 5, column 397, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'triggers', 'trigs'?
Suggestion: triggers; trigs
...d disclose their personal schedules. It trigger some crazy fans chasing the famous peop...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 838, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...y as fans are more passionate nowadays. In light of reasons above, I strongly be...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, if, second, secondly, so, therefore, for example, for instance, i think, as a result, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 13.8261648746 159% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 37.0 43.0788530466 86% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 52.1666666667 90% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2031.0 1977.66487455 103% => OK
No of words: 419.0 407.700716846 103% => OK
Chars per words: 4.84725536993 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52432199235 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47479648744 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 193.0 212.727598566 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.46062052506 0.524837075471 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 662.4 618.680645161 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 36.0567186045 48.9658058833 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 88.3043478261 100.406767564 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.2173913043 20.6045352989 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.69565217391 5.45110844103 86% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.384108308256 0.236089414692 163% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.122992027335 0.076458572812 161% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.123701720624 0.0737576698707 168% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.302555187058 0.150856017488 201% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.126198219906 0.0645574589148 195% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.5 11.7677419355 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.85 10.9000537634 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.58 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 86.8835125448 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.