Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay topics:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Submitted by Shadoone on Sat, 09/21/2019 - 13:57

Development of technology has led to an increase in the number of entertainment sources helping a proportion of people to become such famous that other people wish to know more about celebrity’s private lives. From my point of view, the famous people deserve a greater deal of privacy compared to the current conditions of society. This essay will explore a couple of reasons supporting my perspective in the following paragraphs.

First of all, renowned people should live a more private life due to the fact that they need serenity in order to carry out their jobs considerably well. To put it in other words, should people feel unsecured regarding the issues of their personal life, they will lose their concentration easily and cannot cope with the various problems and upcoming difficulties in their career path. Thus, their performance will diminish during the time, resulting in poor outcomes of their projects. For instance, a couple of years ago, a tremendously popular actor in my country, struggled with an anti-value scandal that people spread about him, and he never had done it. As a result, he put much effort in order to get rid of that gossip and did not have enough time and required calmness to devote to his career. Hence, he went out of range gradually and never could gain his initial popularity again.

Secondly, celebrities could possess multiple secrets regarding contrasting aspects of their personal lives that they do not wish to reveal them to the public. In fact, a handful of secrets and mysteries have something to do with their prestige and can make a large number of problem s for them. Therefore, these kinds of secrets ought to stick to people’s most profound layers of lives and never come out. I think a compelling example can drive this notion home. A few years ago, on the newspaper came the news that covered a scandal in the private life of a famous soccer player. In fact, he had two spouses, and one of them killed the other one. People started to publicly criticize him, and consequently, the man totally lost his reputation. Although he was guilty of cheating and putting his family in jeopardy, he deserved to be condemned and punished privately.

On the whole, taking all the aforementioned reasons and examples into account, I believe that famous people merit a higher degree of privacy in their personal lives. Not only do they require much calmness to perform their professions, but they also need privacy to keep their secrets in their own lives.

Votes
Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
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Essay Categories
Independent TOEFL Writing

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 258, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
... to do with their prestige and can make a large number of problem s for them. Therefore, these ki...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, hence, if, regarding, second, secondly, so, therefore, thus, well, for instance, i think, in fact, as a result, first of all, in other words, on the whole

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 2.0 15.1003584229 13% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 49.0 43.0788530466 114% => OK
Preposition: 69.0 52.1666666667 132% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2093.0 1977.66487455 106% => OK
No of words: 425.0 407.700716846 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.92470588235 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54043259262 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69179350046 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 237.0 212.727598566 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.557647058824 0.524837075471 106% => OK
syllable_count: 647.1 618.680645161 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.0106383513 48.9658058833 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.157894737 100.406767564 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.3684210526 20.6045352989 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.78947368421 5.45110844103 180% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.85842293907 233% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.141960914025 0.236089414692 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0428446760353 0.076458572812 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0357534871061 0.0737576698707 48% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.096064760085 0.150856017488 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0297809735307 0.0645574589148 46% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.9 11.7677419355 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.55 10.9000537634 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.74 8.01818996416 109% => OK
difficult_words: 108.0 86.8835125448 124% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.