Sports like athletics is a very important event for a country. By athletics we can explore our valuable assets of a country. Government should support state-sponsor Olympic teams, some residents I'm sure would believe it is a great idea; others would disagree. In my view, sponsoring state athletics team will be positive for two important reasons.
The main reason is that sponsorship will create enthusiasm for young talents. That means the young students or players can dream high as state player. Players sometimes becomes demotivated when they didn't get suitable facilities for their practice. In addition, poor players having talents sometimes become deprived because of proper facilities or financial situation. For example, in my school i have a senior brother who achieved many records in athletics during college time but later due to proper funding he couldn't continue his passion. But few years earlier there was state sponsored talent hunt for athletes where the winner will be given chance for becoming a player for Olympic games. This sponsorship opened the dream for many athletes who haven't find the courage at all. As you can see, these young athletes wouldn't find courage to have dream if it weren't for the sponsorship.
Another reason is that sponsoring athletes in international level will increase the respect for a country. Many people would be unknown to the world if they cannot perform in the international level . If this athlete perform in the Olympics can achieve success it will bring respect for any nation. We will be honored by all nation. For instance, whoever won the gold, silver or bronze medal in various events of athletics are known as a whole country performance. China, USA and many countries are renowned for their brilliant performance in these international events. Another example we can give that once upon a time cricket wasn't very popular in Bangladesh. But now after giving many facilities and work they are now famous to the cricket world. So by this experience we can say that it will flourish our nation pride throughout the world.
In sum , though many may oppose this, sponsoring athletes would be a great move for a nation. Not only will the addition encourage our young talents but also increase our reputation in the international level. Every government should work for finding such events where they can achieve more success and be honored from other country.
- TOEFL T P O 2 - Integrated Writing Task 3
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Grammar and spelling errors:
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...e-sponsor Olympic teams, some residents Im sure would believe it is a great idea; ...
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Suggestion: didn't
...sometimes becomes demotivated when they didnt get suitable facilities for their pract...
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...time but later due to proper funding he couldnt continue his passion. But few years ear...
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Suggestion: haven't
... opened the dream for many athletes who havent find the courage at all. As you can see...
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Suggestion: wouldn't
...l. As you can see, these young athletes wouldnt find courage to have dream if it werent...
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Line 3, column 850, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'dreamed', 'dreamt'.
Suggestion: dreamed; dreamt
...g athletes wouldnt find courage to have dream if it werent for the sponsorship. An...
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...ouldnt find courage to have dream if it werent for the sponsorship. Another reason ...
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...annot perform in the international level . If this athlete perform in the Olympics...
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... can give that once upon a time cricket wasnt very popular in Bangladesh. But now aft...
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Suggestion: ,
...on pride throughout the world. In sum , though many may oppose this, sponsoring...
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Message: Possible agreement error. The noun may seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'much may', 'a good deal of may'.
Suggestion: much may; a good deal of may
...hroughout the world. In sum , though many may oppose this, sponsoring athletes would ...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, may, so, thus, for example, for instance, in addition, in my view
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 23.0 9.8082437276 234% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 43.0788530466 81% => OK
Preposition: 29.0 52.1666666667 56% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2031.0 1977.66487455 103% => OK
No of words: 397.0 407.700716846 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.11586901763 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46372701284 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62949672964 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 220.0 212.727598566 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.554156171285 0.524837075471 106% => OK
syllable_count: 621.0 618.680645161 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 9.59856630824 42% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 29.4146599882 48.9658058833 60% => OK
Chars per sentence: 84.625 100.406767564 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.5416666667 20.6045352989 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.33333333333 5.45110844103 61% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.5376344086 199% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.118076102194 0.236089414692 50% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0368570964348 0.076458572812 48% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0460320767981 0.0737576698707 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0909495769072 0.150856017488 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0554801453554 0.0645574589148 86% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.0 11.7677419355 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 58.1214874552 95% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.12 10.9000537634 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.97 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 86.8835125448 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 10.002688172 60% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.