Do you agree or disagree with the following statement Older teenagers 16 19 should be allowed to work at paid part time jobs

Essay topics:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Older teenagers (16-19) should be allowed to work at paid part-time jobs.

Nowadays, some job opportunities have been provided as a part-time job for young people. Controversy exists over whether teenagers should be attended at those types of jobs or not. In my vantage point, it is a brilliant idea that teenagers work at their weekends, vacation, or summertime, since not only could they earn money and profit, but they also might be more successful in their future careers.
The first reason which is paramount important is that by participating in part-time works, youth could earn extra money for spending on entertainment and supplies besides pocket money paid by parents. In addition, they would obtain an independent personality by making money individually, and it builds a sense of confidence and self-reliance, which have significant effects on their social relations. Moreover, teenagers could comprehend the impact of money-management skills, such as budgeting, saving, and restring of Financial, in their life, hence they would prepare for the near future and set some goals to achieve. Accordingly, part-time jobs are a suitable opportunity for teenagers to earning money.
The second reason, which should be taken into consideration, is that youth who take part-time jobs might have better job opportunities in the future, in that by cooperating with others in a work atmosphere, they would accumulate valuable experiences such as team working which have significant effects on their career future. In addition, they become an experienced person on worth skills such as putting together a resume and interviewing, if they compete in job interviews. Furthermore, by having different work experience in various work positions, they might have a better cognition of themselves that is helped to find their interests. Hence, youth working in part-time jobs might improve their chance of finding an appropriate job position in the future.
To sum it up, teenagers should participate in part-time jobs because they would earn extra money for their entertainment and supplies, and they could find a better job in the future. It is recommended that youth take part-time jobs in their free time to have a better perception of themselves.

Votes
Average: 6.5 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 278, Rule ID: SUMMER_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'summer'.
Suggestion: summer
...rs work at their weekends, vacation, or summertime, since not only could they earn money a...
^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, besides, but, first, furthermore, hence, if, moreover, second, so, in addition, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 43.0788530466 77% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 52.1666666667 90% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1833.0 1977.66487455 93% => OK
No of words: 342.0 407.700716846 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.35964912281 4.8611393121 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.30037696126 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.05425137953 2.67179642975 114% => OK
Unique words: 176.0 212.727598566 83% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.514619883041 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 557.1 618.680645161 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 20.6003584229 63% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 66.463853236 48.9658058833 136% => OK
Chars per sentence: 141.0 100.406767564 140% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.3076923077 20.6045352989 128% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.15384615385 5.45110844103 150% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.221623159994 0.236089414692 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.10463398633 0.076458572812 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0616130114722 0.0737576698707 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.163027537613 0.150856017488 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.04642587112 0.0645574589148 72% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.0 11.7677419355 144% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 58.1214874552 78% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 10.1575268817 132% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.1 10.9000537634 129% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.76 8.01818996416 109% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 86.8835125448 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 65.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 19.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.