Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
One of the life principles is the personality builds up of our toddlers. Most parents motivate their children to work as a part-time at age of 16. I totally agree with this statement because it help to assemble the children’s mind. In my opinion, there are two reasons to prove that is one of the best ways. First, this way of motivation helps to use our free time in something, it will have a huge effect on the long run. Second, working on teenage time will set our children’s minds.
To begin with, when we were young, there were a lot of free times not exploits in useful things. That free time can become as a disaster to ourselves, in view of fact that teenagers have much energy need to get out. If it does not get out in an appropriate way, it will have a negative impact. My personal experience is a compelling illustration of this. Twelve years ago, I had a lot of bad friends, I used to hang out with them all days and nights. Then, they started to take some drugs, and I took once with them. My parents have noticed that, my father force me to work with him at his shop. He encouraged me by big salary, trying to inspire me about the idea of working. At the end, I liked this pattern of my new life. I took care about my job and myself also. Finally, if I did not take advantages of my free time in working, I would lose whole my entire life.
Furthermore, by scientists’ researchers, they claim the peak of our minds’ growth is between age 14 to 24; therefore, attention is needed in that time. Getting a job in that time, I will help us to build up our minds and our bodies. For instance, when I had started working at age of 16, I felt the difference in how I think. I started to feel responsible. After two years, I paid all my college tuition fee. At the same time, I achieved one of my dreams by opening my own shop. Then, I got married at age of 21; thus, working at young age, it helped me to determine my goals in life.
In conclusion, one of the best way, parents led their children to work at young age for several reasons. Firstly, it will have a positive effect on their adult life. Secondly, it will help them to set their minds and to achieve their goals at young age.
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| 2022-10-12 | MaroofOA | 70 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 195, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'helps'?
Suggestion: helps
...ly agree with this statement because it help to assemble the children’s mind. In my ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 241, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an appropriate way" with adverb for "appropriate"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...need to get out. If it does not get out in an appropriate way, it will have a negative impact. My per...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 763, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END[1]
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: as well
...fe. I took care about my job and myself also. Finally, if I did not take advantages ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, firstly, furthermore, if, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, thus, for instance, i think, in conclusion, in my opinion, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 13.8261648746 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 72.0 43.0788530466 167% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 75.0 52.1666666667 144% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1792.0 1977.66487455 91% => OK
No of words: 423.0 407.700716846 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.23640661939 4.8611393121 87% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53508145475 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.45070326493 2.67179642975 92% => OK
Unique words: 220.0 212.727598566 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.520094562648 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 558.9 618.680645161 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.51630824373 86% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 25.0 9.59856630824 260% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6003584229 131% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 25.7974594936 48.9658058833 53% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 66.3703703704 100.406767564 66% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.6666666667 20.6045352989 76% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.88888888889 5.45110844103 108% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.245511730881 0.236089414692 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0688939003922 0.076458572812 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0490381760824 0.0737576698707 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.16991090371 0.150856017488 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.069889023669 0.0645574589148 108% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 6.4 11.7677419355 54% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 81.63 58.1214874552 140% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 5.6 10.1575268817 55% => Flesch kincaid grade is low.
coleman_liau_index: 7.02 10.9000537634 64% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.88 8.01818996416 86% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 86.8835125448 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 10.247311828 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.