Do you agree or disagree with that following statement? The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Although it is a difficult question to answer because it depends on each person, society, culture, and so many other things, but I totally agree with that the opinions that celebrities such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people then they are to older people. I hold this view because of several reasons.
Firstly, young people usually pay attention to celebrities and famous people's opinion because they consider them as a pattern. In other words, celebrities and athletes' aspects and life approaches are more important for youth because they have more influence and impact on them. Celebrities can impress people by their ideas and beliefs and they sometimes become young people's paragon, since, older people mostly are more adamant and inveterate toward adopting celebrities impacts. For instance, when I was child, I was interested in football and I loved David Beckham. I used to purchase his posters and playing cards in order to attaching them on my wall. His behavior and life-style, despite of his football career, had attracted me vehemently and I always tended to imitate his hair-style and his clothing. So, I was a big fanatic of Beckham, but after couple of years, I was not enthusiastic of Beckham anymore.
Moreover, according to my point of view, young people are more sensitive than older people in case of getting influenced by other people because when we are young, we have not enough experience to rely on themselves and we do not believe ourselves sufficiently, therefore, we seek success in following other people, who are already successful. This method affects youth more than older. For example, as I said I was a big fan of Beckham, because I did not see that ability in myself to achieve that dignity to one day become a famous football player, thus, I preferred to imitate being David Beckham instead of trying to attain to that target.
In general, it seems to me that young people are more squeamish and sensitive and they are more influenced by others, but, what is important is that they choose appropriate choice as their paragon to imitate.
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- TPO 43 integrated writing skill
- one 60
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 368, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'peoples'' or 'people's'?
Suggestion: peoples'; people's
...beliefs and they sometimes become young peoples paragon, since, older people mostly are...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 162, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to appropriate'
Suggestion: to appropriate
..., what is important is that they choose appropriate choice as their paragon to imitate.
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, if, moreover, so, then, therefore, thus, for example, for instance, in general, such as, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 9.8082437276 10% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 52.0 43.0788530466 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 43.0 52.1666666667 82% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1761.0 1977.66487455 89% => OK
No of words: 354.0 407.700716846 87% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.97457627119 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.33761313653 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68410492123 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 212.727598566 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.536723163842 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 563.4 618.680645161 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 20.6003584229 63% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 20.1344086022 134% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 90.7627116303 48.9658058833 185% => OK
Chars per sentence: 135.461538462 100.406767564 135% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.2307692308 20.6045352989 132% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.53846153846 5.45110844103 175% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.316611977445 0.236089414692 134% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.106257518884 0.076458572812 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.104520188749 0.0737576698707 142% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.198312889767 0.150856017488 131% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0561138502201 0.0645574589148 87% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.6 11.7677419355 133% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 58.1214874552 76% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 10.1575268817 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.84 10.9000537634 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.86 8.01818996416 110% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 86.8835125448 100% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.0537634409 127% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.