Do you agree or disagree with the following statement The opinions of celebrities such as famous entertainers and athletes are more important to younger people than they are to older people Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

Essay topics:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Recently, there has been a ton of debate on whether younger people appreciate the opinions of celebrities more than the older people. Personally, I am of the opinion that opinions of celebrities have more impact on younger people. I think of this way because of two reasons, which I will explore in this essay.

First of all, children are more easily influence by others. Obviously, since younger people spend most of their life in school, they do not have enough experience to what tell what is an appropriate behavior. Therefore, they do not have the confidence to express themselves, but just following the fashion which are lead by the celebrities. For example, when I was in high school, more than half of classmates dressed or had their hair cut following their favorite movie stars, and some even imitated how they talked. This demonstrates that how easily children can be impacted by opinions they received.

Secondly, younger people have limited source to see the real world. The most common way for them to know the society is from the internet or television, where is usually occupied by opinions and news about celebrities. With all those information infused in mind, children are more likely to follow and mimic the celebrities' lifestyle. This is best demonstrated by a study conducted by Peking University which is a top ranked university in China. The result shows that more than 50% of the news on the internet is about celebrities, and the readers of those new are mostly younger people at age between 10 to 30. As we can see, how limited information are available for younger people.

In conclusion, I am fully convinced that younger people are prone to be influenced by opinions of celebrities. This is because children do not have enough experience to prevent being affected by others and because they are surrounded with information about celebrities.

Votes

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Independent TOEFL Writing

Comments

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 229, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this information' or 'those informations'?
Suggestion: this information; those informations
...ns and news about celebrities. With all those information infused in mind, children are more like...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 313, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'celebrities'' or 'celebrity's'?
Suggestion: celebrities'; celebrity's
...are more likely to follow and mimic the celebrities lifestyle. This is best demonstrated by...
^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, second, secondly, so, therefore, for example, i think, in conclusion, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 43.0788530466 63% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 52.1666666667 88% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1568.0 1977.66487455 79% => OK
No of words: 314.0 407.700716846 77% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.99363057325 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.20951839842 4.48103885553 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78152217193 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 164.0 212.727598566 77% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.522292993631 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 496.8 618.680645161 80% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 36.0968748647 48.9658058833 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.0 100.406767564 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.625 20.6045352989 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.125 5.45110844103 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.242473376607 0.236089414692 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0847427630721 0.076458572812 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0624240330435 0.0737576698707 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.157705134823 0.150856017488 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0322498610479 0.0645574589148 50% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 11.7677419355 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 58.1214874552 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.66 10.9000537634 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.85 8.01818996416 98% => OK
difficult_words: 65.0 86.8835125448 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.