Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Society benefits more from works of great artists than from politic leaders.

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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Society benefits more from works of great artists than from politic leaders.

When it comes to which benefits our society more, artists or politic leaders, people may have different opinions. Some regard that culture or beauty is the fundamental of society, so they tend to hold that society benefits more from works of great artists than from politic leaders. However, according to the following reasons and some of my personal experiences, I disagree with the above statement.

 First, nowadays, people care about their income, and politic leaders influence economics profoundly. Take my father, a house salesman, for example, to raise my family which has almost 10 people and all depends on his salaries, my father has to work so hard to earn enough money. Furthermore, a politic leader made policies last year which could spur people to consume and once everyone own surplus capital, people may invest their money in realty market. As a result, my father can earn a lot and support my family. On the other hand, artists do not effect economics and cannot make people richer.

 Secondly, people want to take part in public issues, and politic leaders can speak out for their voters. For example, I always pay attention on human rights. Moreover, I attend many NGOs to fight for gay rights, immigration rights and environmental protection. To make all my ideal thinking come true, I have to turn to politic leaders for help and lobby them. As a result, some lawmakers may accept our suggestions make legislate some friendly laws which are related to human rights. However, I cannot ask artists to make laws to realize my goals.

 Last but not least, people hope they can have peaceful lives; in fact, the relationships between countries are controlled by politic leaders. My country, Taiwan, for instance, People’s Republic of China always claims that Taiwan is a part of China. Furthermore, PRC never gives up invading Taiwan by military force. Therefore, our government, especially those politic leaders, attempts to negotiate with Beijing government. However, if politic leaders in Taiwan make wrong decisions without consider thoroughly, there may be wars between strait. Consequently, politics leaders contribute to stable lives. Yet, artists have nothing to do with world peace.

 Admittedly, the base of society is civilization, so it may seem reasonable that Society benefits more from works of great artists than from politic leaders at first. However, according to aforementioned analyses, I strongly believe that society benefits more from politic leaders than from great artists.

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2019-10-30 Munadhila 70 view
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once everyone own surplus capital,
once everyone owns surplus capital,

artists do not effect economics and cannot make people richer.
artists do not affect economics and cannot make people richer.

Sentence: To make all my ideal thinking come true, I have to turn to politic leaders for help and lobby them.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by a pronoun, personal, accusative
Suggestion: Refer to lobby and them

some lawmakers may accept our suggestions make legislate some friendly laws which are related to human rights
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 404 350
No. of Characters: 2039 1500
No. of Different Words: 220 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.483 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.047 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.516 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 166 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 120 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 63 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.565 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.794 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.913 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.313 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.516 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.087 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5