Since the invention of television, it becomes so much popular among all ages of people, and this popularity allows businessmen to advertise their products. However, advertisements directed toward children become a controversial topic nowadays. Some critics claim that it is not good for them and others say that it is essential to develop businesses and enterprises. In my view, the advertisement should not make for kids. I think this way for a few reasons, which I will illustrate in the following essay.
First, advertisements make them fanciful and this could lead to some negative consequences. Because, most of the advertisements, which are specially for the child, are imaginative. These advertisements show some kinds of things that are not possible in real life. But, the children believe them and think that it is possible. My own experience is a compelling example of this. About fifteen years ago, when I was a kid, I saw an advertisement on television which showed me that, if I wear a finger ring having a fan, I could able to fly. After sawing this I immediately asked my father to buy me the finger ring. Then, my father brought me that finger-ring. I immediately wore the ring and jump from a moderate elevation because I had a strong belief that the finger ring will assist me in flying. But, could not able to fly and fall in the ground. As a result, my leg was seriously injured. If I won't saw the advertisement on the television this would not happen.
Second, advertisements can bring trouble to their parents. As some kids could saw some sort of product in the advertisement, which parents could not effort it for their child. For example, a kind, my neighbor, saw an advertisement of a remote control helicopter in the television. Then he became desperate to have the helicopter. But at that time his family was going through some problems and did not have enough money to buy the expensive helicopter. But their son was so desperate that they had to borrow money from my father to bring him the helicopter. This would not happen if he did not saw the advertisement on the television.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that advertisements for young kinds should not be allowed. This is because it makes them fanciful and sometimes can bring trouble for their parents.
- TPO 9 -Independent task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 70
- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 66
- TPO 6 integrated writing 34
- TPO 6- integrated essay 3
- TOEFL T P O 11 - Integrated Writing Task 3
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 893, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...a result, my leg was seriously injured. If I wont saw the advertisement on the tel...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, second, so, then, for example, i think, in conclusion, sort of, as a result, in my view
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 61.0 43.0788530466 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 38.0 52.1666666667 73% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1909.0 1977.66487455 97% => OK
No of words: 393.0 407.700716846 96% => OK
Chars per words: 4.85750636132 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45244063426 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.00814589438 2.67179642975 113% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 212.727598566 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.498727735369 0.524837075471 95% => OK
syllable_count: 594.9 618.680645161 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 32.7001800476 48.9658058833 67% => OK
Chars per sentence: 73.4230769231 100.406767564 73% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.1153846154 20.6045352989 73% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.30769230769 5.45110844103 79% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.85842293907 233% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.88709677419 225% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.102775600228 0.236089414692 44% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0341464323122 0.076458572812 45% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0473466891646 0.0737576698707 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0779615815952 0.150856017488 52% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0380824001821 0.0645574589148 59% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.0 11.7677419355 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.71 58.1214874552 111% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.0 10.1575268817 79% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.32 10.9000537634 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.39 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 75.0 86.8835125448 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.