Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? - "Television advertising directed toward young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed." - Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

That television has significant impact on everyone’s life in this era is an undeniable fact. The impact of the advertisements on the children has recently been the topic of debate among experts. Because the children in these ages are very vulnerable and their behavior gets shape in this span of the their life. Should restrict the television and advertisements to a group of people? I do not think so. Should parents realize the importance of television in their children education they will ponder over it much more scrupulously.

I do believe that television advertisements should not be banned for young children and these are my justification. To begin with, the television programs and advertisements are not always harmful for children, the T.V producers and directors try to produce programs for children and learn them how to behave in future, because all people love to have a cultural developed people in their country and the T.V programs and advertisements are the best way to form the children behavior from their early ages. Even these programs are not only for children but also the parents can learn many things from them to treat with their child. Therefore these advertisements have lots of advantages and should not banned.

The second reason why I advocate this point of view lies in the fact that the parents have freedom of choice especially when it comes to the T.V. There are many different families with different views, religion and cultures, and they are free to how to bring up their children, in fact this is not the duty of the television producers to decide what is proper for each children. Also from my point of view the children behave by their own experience and the advertisement cannot convince them to buy something or not. For instance, the taste of a food can convince a child to eat it not a television advertisement.

Finally, banning a T.V advertisement can violate the freedom of speech and expression and it is not good for a society. Moreover I believe that it is not possible to enact such rule that ban the specific advertisement, as an illustration, it is plausible to ban the advertisements in the child programs such as cartoon, but what about other time, when parents are watching T.V most of the children like to site beside their parents, hence it is impossible to wipe out the advertisement from television programs.

Having discussed the issue from this point of view I would rather look at it from another perspective as well. Obviously, the early ages of children are the times when their brain and behaviors gets forms, they try to learn the behaviors by imitation what they see as a result the T.V should not broadcast the actions which can damage their personality. Therefore the advertisements of the alcohol, drugs, cigarette, or sex should not be allowed.

By taking all above-mentioned arguments into consideration the following conclusion can be drawn about the issue. Underestimating the advantages of the T.V programs and advertisements in informing the people of a community is an undeniable fact. Attending to this issue meticulously contributes to using the advertisements as informative program for children, and can improve several aspects of society.

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and learn them how to behave in future
and teach them how to behave in future

Even these programs are not only for children but also the parents can learn many things from them to treat with their child.
Description: 'Not only...but also' is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?

when their brain and behaviors gets forms,
when their brain and behaviors get forms,

by imitation what they see
by imitating what they see

Sentence: in fact this is not the duty of the television producers to decide what is proper for each children.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to each and children

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2

No. of Words: 543 350 //Write the essay in 30 minutes.

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Score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 543 350
No. of Characters: 2638 1500
No. of Different Words: 232 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.827 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.858 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.005 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 171 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 137 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 107 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 70 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.857 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 18.445 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.306 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.551 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.095 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5