Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? These days, children spend more time on doing homework or participating in organized activities related to school or sports. However, they should be given more time to do whatever they want.
Currently, there is a widespread believe that students should be allow to spend more time to the things they really want. From my perspective, I believe that students indeed need to spend time for themselves.
First, people need more skills or things to handle different situations in the future. The things we need is not only just what people study at school. There are a lot of things study or practice to be hobbies or interests in our daily life can supply many different helps when we work. For instance, hobbies, like music instrument, sports or cooking, can enrich people’s daily life. People always encounter some frustrations, which may disturb people’s mood and work condition. After that, people need some way to distribute their attention or try to restore the mood. Meantime, excellent cooking is able to allow people eat healthy, delicious and inexpensive food at home by themselves. Those all people can not cultivate or study at school. Thereby, people should get more time to their interest or hobbies.
Second, spending time on other things can reduce people’s pressure of study and competition. Nowadays, studying more and more subjects produce increasingly more pressure for students. Meantime, the increasing of peers also stress people by competition. Undertaking huge pressure for long time may damage people’s mental health and incur physiologic sick. However, taking some time for their hobbies can effectively reduce pressure. This point can be perfectly illustrated with a example about my friend, Aron. He is a high achieving student, which makes him to get a very good but competitive high-school. They usually only have 7 days rest at winter-vacation and there are 70 percent students depend on score which is higher than him to enter this high school. Thus he always undertakes much pressure and get depression. After that, he take a half year long break to restore and try to study guitar. When he cures, he back to school and continue to fight for his dream university. But the difference is he will play guitar when he feel frustrate or fatigue. Bright music can make him feeling better.
I am not saying people should spend all time to their hobbies. Study also is a process which needs a lot of time to stimulate. However, moderate break for student is absolutely good for students mental, physiologic health and their future. On balance, people should be allow to take some time for themselves.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 34, Rule ID: BELIEVE_BELIEF[1]
Message: Did you mean 'belief' (noun) instead of believe (verb)?
Suggestion: belief
Currently, there is a widespread believe that students should be allow to spend ...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 66, Rule ID: SHOULD_BE_DO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'allowed'?
Suggestion: allowed
...espread believe that students should be allow to spend more time to the things they r...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 72, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'spending'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'allow' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: spending
...d believe that students should be allow to spend more time to the things they really wan...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 188, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'practice being'.
Suggestion: practice being
...ool. There are a lot of things study or practice to be hobbies or interests in our daily life ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 253, Rule ID: NUMEROUS_DIFFERENT[1]
Message: Use simply 'many'.
Suggestion: many
... interests in our daily life can supply many different helps when we work. For instance, hobbi...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 488, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...point can be perfectly illustrated with a example about my friend, Aron. He is a ...
^
Line 5, column 773, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...her than him to enter this high school. Thus he always undertakes much pressure and ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 848, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'takes'.
Suggestion: takes
...sure and get depression. After that, he take a half year long break to restore and t...
^^^^
Line 5, column 1043, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'feels'.
Suggestion: feels
...fference is he will play guitar when he feel frustrate or fatigue. Bright music can ...
^^^^
Line 9, column 270, Rule ID: SHOULD_BE_DO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'allowed'?
Suggestion: allowed
...ir future. On balance, people should be allow to take some time for themselves.
^^^^^
Line 9, column 276, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'taking'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'allow' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: taking
...ure. On balance, people should be allow to take some time for themselves.
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, may, really, second, so, thus, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 9.8082437276 184% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 13.8261648746 145% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 43.0788530466 81% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 52.1666666667 75% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2058.0 1977.66487455 104% => OK
No of words: 404.0 407.700716846 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.09405940594 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48327461151 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77021227905 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 212.727598566 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.517326732673 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 620.1 618.680645161 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 20.6003584229 136% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 20.1344086022 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 25.2183323341 48.9658058833 52% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 73.5 100.406767564 73% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.4285714286 20.6045352989 70% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.64285714286 5.45110844103 48% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.5376344086 199% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.85842293907 207% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.15785624396 0.236089414692 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0525566942743 0.076458572812 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0596499326008 0.0737576698707 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.129688971636 0.150856017488 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0501686491682 0.0645574589148 78% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.8 11.7677419355 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 65.73 58.1214874552 113% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 10.1575268817 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.65 10.9000537634 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.65 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 86.8835125448 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.0537634409 76% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.