Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The extended family (grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles) is less important now than it was in the past.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
The close-knit family once considered an essential part of people life. The value is inhered to the children and passed to next generation. It is embedded in children minds that honor a grandparent, love a cousin and cherish an aunt is ineluctable. However, the advancement of technology, hectic scheduled and downgraded of traditional value makes the extended family less important than before. I personally agree with the statement because several reasons I would like to elaborate more in the next paragraph.
First, the modern technology, especially in the transportation field, separates family. In the ancient time, the members of the family usually dwell in the same area. Additionally, they live within close proximity thus they build extensive connection; simply because they talk to each other more frequently. Whereas, the scientific world invents the airplane therefore human can travel a sheer number of distance. Consequently, the family member lives separated by an enormous distance. For example, my grandfather lives in Papua, the eastern part of my Country, whereas I live in Jakarta. To communicate and to visits each other is a horrendous task. With growing distance, the less connection I have with my grandfather.
Second, the busy life makes people communicate less hence it affects the connection between the extended family member. This era gives people more work and more task to do thus they less likely to confer to each other. The people only able to meet at night and they need to work in the early morning. The limited of vacant time makes people less likely to call or to message family who lives in the different house. For instance, I am a doctor that works in the middle of the city. I leave my house at five in the morning and come home at 7 pm. The only people I can talk are my parents furthermore I would rather sleep instead of going out and visits my grandparents in the weekend. This is detrimental to my relationship with my extended family.
Finally, there is degradation of family value because of individualistic lifestyle that prevalent in the city. When my parents still young, it is a customary for them to visit their cousins in another town for play or mingle with each other. Right now, it considers tawdry and out of place to do something like that every weekend. In addition, the people-centric mindset that grows in urban life takes a precedent in our regard of the extended family.
Ultimately, we should take care of our family and shower them with attention. However, I should agree with the statement that in this period, the extended family becomes less important and more replaceable than in the old times.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 199, Rule ID: CLOSE_SCRUTINY[1]
Message: Use simply 'proximity'.
Suggestion: proximity
...me area. Additionally, they live within close proximity thus they build extensive connection; s...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 79, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... family and shower them with attention. However, I should agree with the stateme...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, finally, first, furthermore, hence, however, if, second, so, still, therefore, thus, well, whereas, for example, for instance, in addition
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 42.0 43.0788530466 97% => OK
Preposition: 66.0 52.1666666667 127% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 8.0752688172 186% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2234.0 1977.66487455 113% => OK
No of words: 448.0 407.700716846 110% => OK
Chars per words: 4.98660714286 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60065326758 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8065271044 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 229.0 212.727598566 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.511160714286 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 717.3 618.680645161 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 15.0 3.08781362007 486% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6003584229 131% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 27.6566246836 48.9658058833 56% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 82.7407407407 100.406767564 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.5925925926 20.6045352989 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.62962962963 5.45110844103 103% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.88709677419 246% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.160922261289 0.236089414692 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0441616102614 0.076458572812 58% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0559030773529 0.0737576698707 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.108427196318 0.150856017488 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0585858653229 0.0645574589148 91% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.4 11.7677419355 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 58.1214874552 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.37 10.9000537634 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.1 8.01818996416 101% => OK
difficult_words: 104.0 86.8835125448 120% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.