Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The opinion of celebrities, such as famous entertainer and athletes, are more important to younger people
than the are to older people.
Use specific reason and example to support your answer.
It is a controversially matter that why people always seek for a perfect role model. The answer is different from one person to another. Some people like to imitate a perfect scientist and the other one like to behave like a star. No one can deny the fact that among all role models, celebrities have the most influence. Some people think that celebrities have equal effect in both teenager and aged people. Whoever, in my opinion, youngest people dramatically influenced by famous people. The ensuing paragraphs explain the reason to this position.
First of all, teenager and younger peoples influence more by celebrities especially stars due to the fact that they are more fantasy and besides, they are more vulnerable through what they see in media and advertisiment. Aged people behave more wise and rational in these occasions because they are mental mature. Teenagers always look for their own role models, they want to act and dress like stars and do what they do. For example, when I was teenager, I used to stand in front of the mirror and give a brush in my hand as a microphone and started to imitate my favorite singer's act and also I used to follow her unusual makeup. Of course now I don't do that because after passing ages I become more mental mature and logic.
Second, teenagers are more risky person and like to experience every thing by self without thinking about the result of their behavior. This is the reason that why youngers are actor o affected by stars and sportman. They smoke and drunk like the stars in moves without thinking about the fact what they saw in movie or show is just a role. Thus, they are expose to many dangerous by following such these behavior. Apparently adults can distinct between real and fancy life when they see movies and so on. For example, there is a very famous actor in my country drink a lot in his movies and his teenager fans imitate his act and drink a lot. When one of his fan which was a 18 years old boy die in accident while he was drunk, the actor put a post in his Facebook and wrote I never drink in any of my movies, I just imitate like how drunk.
In summation, no one can ignore the influence of celebrities on their fans. The amount of this effect is depend on people maturity. I strongly believe that because younger people are in their sensitive ages so they are most vulnerable in exposing this influence.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 7, Rule ID: A_RB_NN[1]
Message: You used an adverb ('controversially') instead an adjective, or a noun ('matter') instead of another adjective.
It is a controversially matter that why people always seek for a perfe...
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Line 1, column 431, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: ', the youngest'.
Suggestion: , the youngest
... and aged people. Whoever, in my opinion, youngest people dramatically influenced by famou...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 648, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...low her unusual makeup. Of course now I dont do that because after passing ages I be...
^^^^
Line 3, column 399, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this behavior' or 'these behaviors'?
Suggestion: this behavior; these behaviors
...ose to many dangerous by following such these behavior. Apparently adults can distinct betwee...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 674, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...nk a lot. When one of his fan which was a 18 years old boy die in accident while ...
^
Line 3, column 834, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ny of my movies, I just imitate like how drunk. In summation, no one can ignore ...
^^
Line 4, column 105, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'depended'.
Suggestion: depended
...heir fans. The amount of this effect is depend on people maturity. I strongly believe ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, apparently, besides, first, if, look, second, so, thus, while, for example, of course, first of all, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 13.8261648746 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 49.0 43.0788530466 114% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 52.1666666667 113% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1960.0 1977.66487455 99% => OK
No of words: 429.0 407.700716846 105% => OK
Chars per words: 4.56876456876 4.8611393121 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55107846309 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.42278062436 2.67179642975 91% => OK
Unique words: 210.0 212.727598566 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.48951048951 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 639.0 618.680645161 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.5951439317 48.9658058833 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 89.0909090909 100.406767564 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.5 20.6045352989 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.45454545455 5.45110844103 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.118559591529 0.236089414692 50% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0412006822767 0.076458572812 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0357633713376 0.0737576698707 48% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0756960729605 0.150856017488 50% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0283802375008 0.0645574589148 44% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.8 11.7677419355 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.23 10.9000537634 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.3 8.01818996416 91% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 86.8835125448 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 5.5 10.002688172 55% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.