THE EFFECT OF FAMOUS ON YOUNG PEOPLE.
Some people argue that celebrities’ opinions are important to old people as well as young. People believe that old generations are also vulnerable to entertainer’s opinions. Although I understand their view, I have a different perspective. I believe that adolescences are the most who affected by the celebrities opinion. The basis of my opinion is social, financial.
Famous people are known every where. Young people are likely affected by famous celebrities. New young generations are really affected by the well known people. Young people would like to be in the same situation. Every person wants to be famous and known. I can recall example, we in Egypt have a well known actor his name is Adel Imam, he is now about 70 years old. He started his journey long time ago. He was not known as now but year after year he begins to be more and more famous. People love him and he has many fans. Many new upcoming actors want to be famous like him, they start to imitate his acting, they try to perform in the same way like him, say the same exact funny words like. Those people want to be famous as Adel Imam. That illustrate why many young people are more affected by celebrities than old generation.
Most celebrities are rich. Young adolescences want to be rich like them. They believe that famous is the key for having the recent model car, or buying the most fancy house .For example, famous people like soccer teams member are so rich people .One of the richest known soccer player is Meesi, he drives the best care ever. He also wears the bet clothes. He has a fancy house. He has a lot of money. Young people think that he has a lot of money because he is famous; however, he has much money because he is a good player. People want to be as rich as messi. Some young people are fans with messi because he is known and rich they want to be like him. Young people start to imitate him wearing the same clothes, doing the same hair cut and also some other people are welling to buy shirts cost hundred of dollars just because messi sign them. That conclude how young people are really affected by celebrities.
In conclusion, young people are the most people affected by celebrities. Young people like to copy famous, young people also want to be rich as famous. That is why I believe that old people are not really affected by famous people as adolescences and young generation.
- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement In order to become financially responsible adults children should learn to manage their own money at young age Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer 70
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 313, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'celebrities'' or 'celebrity's'?
Suggestion: celebrities'; celebrity's
...cences are the most who affected by the celebrities opinion. The basis of my opinion is so...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 381, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...sis of my opinion is social, financial. Famous people are known every where. You...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 25, Rule ID: EVERY_WHERE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'everywhere'?
Suggestion: everywhere
...nancial. Famous people are known every where. Young people are likely affected by fa...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 74, Rule ID: FAMOUS_CELEBRITY[1]
Message: Use simply 'celebrities'.
Suggestion: celebrities
...re. Young people are likely affected by famous celebrities. New young generations are really affec...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 417, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ed his journey long time ago. He was not known as now but year after year he begi...
^^
Line 7, column 173, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...odel car, or buying the most fancy house .For example, famous people like soccer t...
^^
Line 7, column 175, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: For
...el car, or buying the most fancy house .For example, famous people like soccer team...
^^^
Line 7, column 245, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...e soccer teams member are so rich people .One of the richest known soccer player i...
^^
Line 7, column 247, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: One
...soccer teams member are so rich people .One of the richest known soccer player is M...
^^^
Line 7, column 379, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... the bet clothes. He has a fancy house. He has a lot of money. Young people think ...
^^
Line 7, column 797, Rule ID: NODT_DOZEN[1]
Message: Use simply: 'a hundred'.
Suggestion: a hundred
...r people are welling to buy shirts cost hundred of dollars just because messi sign them...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, really, so, well, for example, in conclusion, as well as, in the same way
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 33.0 15.1003584229 219% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 9.8082437276 20% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 46.0 43.0788530466 107% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 52.1666666667 82% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1980.0 1977.66487455 100% => OK
No of words: 430.0 407.700716846 105% => OK
Chars per words: 4.60465116279 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55372829156 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.45792720915 2.67179642975 92% => OK
Unique words: 183.0 212.727598566 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.425581395349 0.524837075471 81% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 630.9 618.680645161 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 19.0 9.59856630824 198% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.994623655914 0% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.94265232975 20% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 31.0 20.6003584229 150% => OK
Sentence length: 13.0 20.1344086022 65% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 50.9835010345 48.9658058833 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 63.8709677419 100.406767564 64% => OK
Words per sentence: 13.8709677419 20.6045352989 67% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.12903225806 5.45110844103 57% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.5376344086 199% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.207931813549 0.236089414692 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0739800690457 0.076458572812 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0800861416084 0.0737576698707 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.151073785565 0.150856017488 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0802384098905 0.0645574589148 124% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 7.2 11.7677419355 61% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 66.74 58.1214874552 115% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.2 10.1575268817 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.81 10.9000537634 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.56 8.01818996416 82% => OK
difficult_words: 62.0 86.8835125448 71% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 4.5 10.002688172 45% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 7.2 10.0537634409 72% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 10.247311828 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.