In general, people are living longer now. Which of the following do you think accounts for this phenomenon?
Technological improvements
Changes to education systems
Improvements to our diets
Use specific details and examples in your answer. You may choose more than one cause.
without a doubt, people are living longer these days than ever before. In my opinion, this is a result of many helpful technological advances. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
First of all, developments in medical science have saved and lengthened many lives. Newly discovered pharmaceuticals and medical devices assist doctors in a wide range of ways. they help in the prevention of illness, in the diagnosis of disease and during treatment. my personal history is a compelling example of this. several years ago I was diagnosed with skin cancer. fortunately, my cancer was discovered at a very early stage and my doctor treated me right away. moreover, I fortunately avoided experiencing any unexpected side-effects. All of this happened at a modern facility at a high-tech hospital close to my home. In contrast, several decades ago my grandfather passed away as a result of prostate cancer. he was diagnosed properly, but not soon enough to save his life. this was because there was simply no technology available to make the diagnosis at that time.
Secondly, modern technology gives individuals much more manageable working lives than people had in the past. these days a lot of tasks are automated, which means they are carried out by computers or robotic systems. this means that, unlike in the past, employees don’t need to spend long hours at their workplace every day. For instance, I work just thirty-five hours each week. this gives me plenty of time in the evenings and weekends to get a lot of exercise and to relieve my stress by pursuing my hobbies. moreover, most of my friends and colleagues have a similar schedule. I am quite certain that my anxiety-free life and healthy body will help me to live a long time. my uncle, who is much older than I, worked more than forty-five hours each week during his career. without machines to pick up the slack for him, his duties were physically demanding and he developed a lot of mental health problems as he aged. The toll his work took on his body was a major cause of his early death by heart attack, in my opinion. The comparison of myself and my uncle demonstrate how today’s employment conditions help us live longer.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that technology is the main reason why people today live longer than earlier generations. this is because it helps us to avoid serious health problems, and it makes our working lives a lot easier to bear.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-11-17 | dimase | 70 | view |
| 2019-10-21 | aldovega0516 | 70 | view |
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- TPO13 - integrated writing task 86
Grammar and spelling errors:
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Suggestion: Without
without a doubt, people are living longer these...
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...ll explore in the following essay. First of all, developments in medical sc...
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...ssist doctors in a wide range of ways. they help in the prevention of illness, in t...
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...gnosis of disease and during treatment. my personal history is a compelling exampl...
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...istory is a compelling example of this. several years ago I was diagnosed with skin can...
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Suggestion: Fortunately
... ago I was diagnosed with skin cancer. fortunately, my cancer was discovered at a very ear...
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Suggestion: Moreover
...ge and my doctor treated me right away. moreover, I fortunately avoided experiencing any...
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...d away as a result of prostate cancer. he was diagnosed properly, but not soon en...
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..., but not soon enough to save his life. this was because there was simply no technol...
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...o make the diagnosis at that time. Secondly, modern technology gives indivi...
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...ing lives than people had in the past. these days a lot of tasks are automated, whic...
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...ed out by computers or robotic systems. this means that, unlike in the past, employe...
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...work just thirty-five hours each week. this gives me plenty of time in the evenings...
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...lieve my stress by pursuing my hobbies. moreover, most of my friends and colleagues have...
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...body will help me to live a long time. my uncle, who is much older than I, worked...
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...five hours each week during his career. without machines to pick up the slack for him, ...
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Line 13, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...nt conditions help us live longer. In conclusion, I strongly believe that t...
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Suggestion: This
... live longer than earlier generations. this is because it helps us to avoid serious...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, for instance, i feel, in conclusion, in contrast, as a result, first of all, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 57.0 43.0788530466 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 56.0 52.1666666667 107% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2071.0 1977.66487455 105% => OK
No of words: 425.0 407.700716846 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.87294117647 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54043259262 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77119738526 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 249.0 212.727598566 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.585882352941 0.524837075471 112% => OK
syllable_count: 655.2 618.680645161 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 17.0 9.59856630824 177% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.51792114695 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6003584229 131% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 23.3766793151 48.9658058833 48% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 76.7037037037 100.406767564 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.7407407407 20.6045352989 76% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.33333333333 5.45110844103 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 18.0 5.5376344086 325% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.85842293907 207% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.108326632831 0.236089414692 46% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0325812453712 0.076458572812 43% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.036837846171 0.0737576698707 50% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.096605417609 0.150856017488 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0528024113665 0.0645574589148 82% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.4 11.7677419355 80% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.71 58.1214874552 111% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.0 10.1575268817 79% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.67 10.9000537634 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.39 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 108.0 86.8835125448 124% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 10.002688172 60% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.