If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

Essay topics:

If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

Some people say that “change is difficult” in fact, they believe or think it is impossible, or not easy and I believe that change is difficult. But, it is possible and I if I can change one important thing about my hometown I will strongly say that I will construct or rebuild my country Afghanistan specially the rural areas and create them some opportunities. Due to, it is near four decade fighting on their and my people have not access something with good standard. So, for years of fighting in my hometown I will reconstruct or rebuild the rural areas. However, I love to serve my people who lives in rural areas, or villagers.
First, why rural? I believe that near %80 of my people living in rural areas or they are villagers and they have not access any standard foods, health services, or they have not hospital. So, these are the main reasons that they death when they are young. However, I will help these people to build some hospital, or at least build a clinic that has some standard medic tools and provide them some drugs with good qualities. Moreover, I will help them to opining some foods factory like, vegetable, meat and some bean. Therefore, I love to create these factories, hospitals, or clinics for villagers and save them from bad situations. I like this ideas.
Second, in the rural areas in my country, my people have not jobs that support their live in good way. So, I will help them build some companies like, cement project it is really good concept. If government help me to expand my concept I can create near 20000 jobs opportunities for rural area in west of Afghanistan, Heart, we have a big company that people call this cement project, So, if people have good jobs no one will join to terrorist groups and they can live in peace and love each other. I love and also enjoy this ideas and I think all my people like to live in peace and respect each other.
The last but not least, rural areas are deprive some services like, insurance ( medics, home) and the most important one I believe it is electricity. However, all rural areas must join to electricity stations and have in low prices than urban areas. So, if they use electricity on their farms they can irrigation lands in modern methods and produce good crops with high qualities. However, I will provide them all insurance services. And at the end I will give them some agriculture machineries tools. So, I love this ideas.
To sum up, I strongly believe that if I could change one important thing about my hometown. So, I will bring change in rural areas. In fact, I will help them to build some companies, or factories like, vegetable, meat, bean, hospitals or clinics and support them to have good jobs. However, I will join them to electricity stations and help them modern agriculture tools. Moreover, I will create them jobs opportunities. Therefore, I love to change the rural areas and I love this work because I feel as servant person. I like this ideas to serve my people in rural areas.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
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Essays by user khosrow nouroozi :

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 397, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'decade' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'decades'.
Suggestion: decades
... opportunities. Due to, it is near four decade fighting on their and my people have no...
^^^^^^
Line 1, column 445, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'accessed'.
Suggestion: accessed
...ighting on their and my people have not access something with good standard. So, for y...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ho lives in rural areas, or villagers. First, why rural? I believe that near %8...
^^^
Line 2, column 120, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'accessed'.
Suggestion: accessed
...or they are villagers and they have not access any standard foods, health services, or...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 471, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'foods'' or 'food's'?
Suggestion: foods'; food's
...eover, I will help them to opining some foods factory like, vegetable, meat and some ...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 645, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...d save them from bad situations. I like this ideas. Second, in the rural areas i...
^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rom bad situations. I like this ideas. Second, in the rural areas in my country...
^^^
Line 3, column 524, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
... love each other. I love and also enjoy this ideas and I think all my people like to...
^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... live in peace and respect each other. The last but not least, rural areas are ...
^^
Line 4, column 43, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'deprived'.
Suggestion: deprived
...The last but not least, rural areas are deprive some services like, insurance medics, ...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 80, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...re deprive some services like, insurance medics, home and the most important one...
^^
Line 4, column 89, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e some services like, insurance medics, home and the most important one I believ...
^^
Line 4, column 514, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...riculture machineries tools. So, I love this ideas. To sum up, I strongly believe...
^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hineries tools. So, I love this ideas. To sum up, I strongly believe that if I ...
^^
Line 5, column 529, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...ecause I feel as servant person. I like this ideas to serve my people in rural areas...
^^^^
Line 5, column 575, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...deas to serve my people in rural areas.
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, moreover, really, second, so, therefore, as to, at least, i feel, i think, in fact, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 9.8082437276 194% => OK
Conjunction : 32.0 13.8261648746 231% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 91.0 43.0788530466 211% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 54.0 52.1666666667 104% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2474.0 1977.66487455 125% => OK
No of words: 535.0 407.700716846 131% => OK
Chars per words: 4.62429906542 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.80937282943 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53506184586 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 210.0 212.727598566 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.392523364486 0.524837075471 75% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 777.6 618.680645161 126% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 23.0 9.59856630824 240% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.86738351254 375% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 20.6003584229 141% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.9643860092 48.9658058833 125% => OK
Chars per sentence: 85.3103448276 100.406767564 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.4482758621 20.6045352989 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.27586206897 5.45110844103 78% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 16.0 5.5376344086 289% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 21.0 11.8709677419 177% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0829715672222 0.236089414692 35% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0303166210001 0.076458572812 40% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0619190877815 0.0737576698707 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0603256211665 0.150856017488 40% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0518290737597 0.0645574589148 80% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.6 11.7677419355 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.52 10.9000537634 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.83 8.01818996416 85% => OK
difficult_words: 78.0 86.8835125448 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.