It is important to know about events happening around the world even if it is unlikely that they will affect your daily life

At present, people can have access to the information easily and diversely through a variety of ways. In contrast to those who only care things about themselves, some others tend to learn the information occurring worldwide. For example, those who are interested in political news in the U.S tend to care the elections and political situation over there despite the fact that it has nothing to do with them. On the other hand, however, people who are only concerned about themselves tend to focus on things such as the price of the daily necessities, infrastructures in their own neighrbours, etc. In my opinion, I believe that it is important to know about the events happening in the world, which I'll elaborate in the following paragraphs.
First of all, as a member of the global society, we can learn a lesson from what happened to others. For example, an old lady who misbelieved a scammer calling for ransom to her grandchild, who, on the other side of the phone, crying for help, paid the money to the scammer, yet it turned out to be a fraud, causing her loss of 500 thousand dollars. From the story, even though we didn't know the woman, nor did it actually affect our life, it actually helped us to be aware of what we've been taking for granted.
Secondly, on the other hand, we can as well be an example to others, teaching something they don't know to them. Take the 921 Earthquake which occurred at midnight of September 21st, 1999 for example. The earthquake struck so severely that many people died and homes collapsed, but the government took action to rescue the victims immediately, and so did the international rescue team. It was also because of this event that people who live in the earthquake zone are able to know how to make precautions from the natural disasters.
To sum up, it is true that getting to know the news happening in the world doesn't really affect us immediately, and that we are too trivial to affect the world simply by knowing the events happening; however, chances are that we may be able to apply the experiences from others to our own situation when encountering the similar problem. So, once again, I do agree that it is important to know the events happening in the world.

Votes
Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
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At present, people can have access to t...
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At present, people can have access to the information easily and div...
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...e interested in political news in the U.S tend to care the elections and politica...
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...he events happening in the world, which Ill elaborate in the following paragraphs. ...
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...elaborate in the following paragraphs. First of all, as a member of the global ...
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...dollars. From the story, even though we didnt know the woman, nor did it actually aff...
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... actually helped us to be aware of what weve been taking for granted. Secondly, o...
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... of what weve been taking for granted. Secondly, on the other hand, we can as w...
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...mple to others, teaching something they dont know to them. Take the 921 Earthquake w...
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...ecautions from the natural disasters. To sum up, it is true that getting to kn...
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...to know the news happening in the world doesnt really affect us immediately, and that ...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, however, if, may, really, second, secondly, so, well, for example, in contrast, such as, first of all, in contrast to, in my opinion, it is true, to sum up, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 43.0788530466 91% => OK
Preposition: 62.0 52.1666666667 119% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1831.0 1977.66487455 93% => OK
No of words: 392.0 407.700716846 96% => OK
Chars per words: 4.67091836735 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44960558625 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63760090143 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 212.0 212.727598566 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.540816326531 0.524837075471 103% => OK
syllable_count: 564.3 618.680645161 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.6003584229 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 20.1344086022 139% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 66.7590856004 48.9658058833 136% => OK
Chars per sentence: 130.785714286 100.406767564 130% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.0 20.6045352989 136% => OK
Discourse Markers: 14.4285714286 5.45110844103 265% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.5376344086 199% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.220942746117 0.236089414692 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0775186470051 0.076458572812 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0901956731343 0.0737576698707 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.130642014894 0.150856017488 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0783105060971 0.0645574589148 121% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 11.7677419355 124% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.98 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.8 10.1575268817 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.1 10.9000537634 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.13 8.01818996416 101% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 86.8835125448 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 10.0537634409 131% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.247311828 146% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.