In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn how to manage their own money at young age
Managing the budget is one of the most important task that each person face it and should deal with in their entire life. In higher level, the governors and politicians have to manage the country economical income and outcome. The something like governments applies to the small part of society called family. The parents are responsible for their own economic situation. When people learned this life skill? Should it start when people are child or the education process should start later? In my own perspective, I agree with the statement, and to be a financially responsible adults, the learning procedure should be started since they are young and with their own money. Following sentences and examples will elaborate on my opinion.
First of all, the responsibility like other skills should be learned at younger age. Same as the reading, writing, basic calculation, etc children should learn to be responsible, especially for their financial situation. Certainly starting to learn at lower age results in gaining a lot of experience. If kids start learn how to manage their own budget, they will achieve a lot of valuable experience which they can use it when they become adults and apply it for their own personal life and family. It is needless to say that when you get educated and trained for a sustain and long time, the probability to get more adept at that skills will increase, therefore I think to be a better financial responsible adults, learning should start at lower age.
Second, When children are encouraged to learn how to manage their own money, their parents as their initial teacher, learn them and watching them; however if kids did not start learning after they become older it is little difficult to find reliable teacher or friend as parents and also there is a very little time to get learned when kids grow up. In addition, the amount of money kids are trying to manage is much less than the real money when they become adult, so if they made mistake, they did not loss and waste a lot of money and they learn how to manage their money in a simulation environment. Kids could feel how unfavorable it would be to lose money or get ran out of it. So they can learn and try be more responsible and use their experience for their own life or even if they acquire an important job, for instance a financial manager at a great company, they know the value of the money and they know that they are responsible for the company financial situation.
To summarize the aforementioned points and examples, I believe that to become a financial responsible adults, kids should learn when they are still young and with their own money, because learning in a crucial task like financial responsibility is required enough time and also they should experience failure when they are still young to perceive the value of money and learn to be responsible for their own money which lead them to be more responsible when they become adult
- four days working 71
- keeping new friends is most important than make new friends 70
- at universities and college, sports and other social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. 70
- TPO 53, High taxes on cigarettes 80
- TPO 20 Integrated, let it burn policy 88
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 566, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...t when you get educated and trained for a sustain and long time, the probability to get m...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 103, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'adult'?
Suggestion: adult
... that to become a financial responsible adults, kids should learn when they are still ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, second, so, still, therefore, for instance, i think, in addition, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 15.1003584229 152% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 9.8082437276 163% => OK
Conjunction : 25.0 13.8261648746 181% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 55.0 43.0788530466 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 54.0 52.1666666667 104% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.0752688172 173% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2457.0 1977.66487455 124% => OK
No of words: 510.0 407.700716846 125% => OK
Chars per words: 4.81764705882 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75217629947 4.48103885553 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58522106123 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Unique words: 217.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.425490196078 0.524837075471 81% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 764.1 618.680645161 124% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 7.0 3.08781362007 227% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 28.0 20.1344086022 139% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 116.119670073 48.9658058833 237% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 136.5 100.406767564 136% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.3333333333 20.6045352989 138% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.77777777778 5.45110844103 106% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.476435420029 0.236089414692 202% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.156047918086 0.076458572812 204% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.100737775073 0.0737576698707 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.340706526612 0.150856017488 226% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0423621287142 0.0645574589148 66% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 11.7677419355 131% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.52 58.1214874552 89% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 10.1575268817 128% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.97 10.9000537634 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.81 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 86.8835125448 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 10.0537634409 131% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.