People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

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People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In today's hectic life, depending on personal experience, personality type and emotional concern, People differ greatly in their attitudes about reasons. As far as I am concerned, I find that the main reason of what most of them do so is career preparation.

Taking the proposed subject into account, I should state that the most important reason is that university is the most suitable spot to absorb knowledge, which mostly determines your career development. It goes without saying that with the development of the society, "knowledge is power" has been a rule: the more knowledge one possesses, the more easily he succeeds in his career. For instance, it is often reported that MBA graduates in famous universities, such as Harvard, will acquire high start payment when the companies employ them for the first time. Therefore, after several works, Abundant working experience and solid knowledge base will make them further develop in the manager class.

Another rational of why most people have said about this perspective is that universities will provide one with not only knowledge but also many other abilities, including communication ability, corporation ability, and independency ability etc, which are beneficial to future career. It is absolutely certain that at the same time, he can make friends with his school mates and deals with all kinds of people, who often become his colleagues or business partner in the future. Furthermore, in this way, this view will be widened and abilities will be improved. Consequently, when he goes off the campus, he always has stronger competition ability than those who do not go to the universities.

Another reason which renders my vantage point is that in contrast, history illustrates that people refused by the universities have few opportunities to succeed in their career development. It is widely believed that owing to their low educational level, most companies would rather employ them as physical workers than mental workers. In this way, the development of technology and science will fall them into disuse. As a result, such as in many manufacturing factories now, there are automatic machines as substitute for workers.

To put in a nutshell, I should state that in light of previously discussed, career preparation has been the most primary factor to my propensity for choosing attending university. If I have gotten this chance, I do not have a bit of hesitation to attend university.

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Sentence: Another rational of why most people have said about this perspective is that universities will provide one with not only knowledge but also many other abilities, including communication ability, corporation ability, and independency ability etc, which are beneficial to future career.
Error: independency Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
Don't use those pattern sentences like:
'depending on personal experience, personality type and emotional concern...'

Attribute Value Ideal
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Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
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Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.147 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5