Education is the vital factor in our life.children must do their best to get high grade in their school. Parents have a great role in encouragement to their children in their study life.some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade they get in school.Other parents use different ways in their children life. in my point of view offering money for each high grade they get is a positive method and has a lot of advantages.
First of all, offering money for each high grade they get in school will encourage children to do their best to get theses high grades.Children will feel happy after each high grade they get, especially if their parents are happy and proud of them and their grads. In my experience, when i was in high school in Egypt, my father promised me that if i get high grade in my second year of high school , he would give me 1000 pounds. I was so happy by this promise because I wanted to buy a gold ring and it was so expensive. I did my best in my studies, I was studying all days and sometimes I stayed up late to study while all my family was sleeping and the house was so quite and good environment to study well. Finally I took my exams and get high grades like my father wanted it was 98%. Thus, my father was so happy and I was too. then he gave my the money he promised me. I was so exited that I had the money I waned to buy this ring. For my experience,it has a great effect on the children in their study life to offering them money for each high grade they get.
Secondary, offering money for each high grade they get in school will learn children the value of the money and consequently the way they used it. When children did their best to get high school to take the money their parent offering them, they will learn how expensive is the money and how they tired to get these money. Additionally they will use these money in their place. to illustrate my point, in my previous experience with my father who promised me to give me 1000 pounds if I get high grades in my high school, I was in need to these money to buy a gold ring . however, after I handled these money ,I thought about how hard work I did to get these money,and how many days I stayed late and not sleep to get these high grades. Additionally, I thought about why I not save these money and the other money my father will give to me and buy something else that help me in my future studies like computer or lap top. Indeed, this experience learned my a perfect value continue with me in the rest of my life.
To sum up,parent have different ways to help their children in their study life.some of them use the way of offering money to children for each high grade they get. This way is a perfect way not only for encouragement children but also for learning them how to use money in its place correctly.
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- TPO-40 - Independent Writing Task Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 66
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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Education is the vital factor in our lif...
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Suggestion: Other
... for each high grade they get in school.Other parents use different ways in their chi...
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Suggestion: In
... different ways in their children life. in my point of view offering money for eac...
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Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ethod and has a lot of advantages. First of all, offering money for each hi...
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Line 4, column 142, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Children
...do their best to get theses high grades.Children will feel happy after each high grade t...
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Line 4, column 295, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...and their grads. In my experience, when i was in high school in Egypt, my father ...
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Line 4, column 356, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...in Egypt, my father promised me that if i get high grade in my second year of hig...
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Line 4, column 405, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...h grade in my second year of high school , he would give me 1000 pounds. I was so ...
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Suggestion: Finally,
...ite and good environment to study well. Finally I took my exams and get high grades lik...
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Line 4, column 841, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: Then
..., my father was so happy and I was too. then he gave my the money he promised me. I ...
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Suggestion: , it
...aned to buy this ring. For my experience,it has a great effect on the children in t...
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Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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... money for each high grade they get. Secondary, offering money for each high ...
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Line 6, column 320, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this money' or 'these moneys', 'these monies'?
Suggestion: this money; these moneys; these monies
... is the money and how they tired to get these money. Additionally they will use these money...
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Line 6, column 333, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
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Suggestion: Additionally,
... and how they tired to get these money. Additionally they will use these money in their plac...
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Line 6, column 360, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this money' or 'these moneys', 'these monies'?
Suggestion: this money; these moneys; these monies
...these money. Additionally they will use these money in their place. to illustrate my point,...
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Line 6, column 388, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: To
...ey will use these money in their place. to illustrate my point, in my previous exp...
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Line 6, column 549, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this money' or 'these moneys', 'these monies'?
Suggestion: this money; these moneys; these monies
...des in my high school, I was in need to these money to buy a gold ring . however, after I h...
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Line 6, column 579, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
...n need to these money to buy a gold ring . however, after I handled these money ,I...
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Line 6, column 582, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: However
...eed to these money to buy a gold ring . however, after I handled these money ,I thought...
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Line 6, column 607, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this money' or 'these moneys', 'these monies'?
Suggestion: this money; these moneys; these monies
... a gold ring . however, after I handled these money ,I thought about how hard work I did to...
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Line 6, column 618, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...g . however, after I handled these money ,I thought about how hard work I did to g...
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Line 6, column 663, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this money' or 'these moneys', 'these monies'?
Suggestion: this money; these moneys; these monies
...hought about how hard work I did to get these money,and how many days I stayed late and not...
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Line 6, column 674, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: , and
...t how hard work I did to get these money,and how many days I stayed late and not sle...
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Line 6, column 792, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this money' or 'these moneys', 'these monies'?
Suggestion: this money; these moneys; these monies
...ionally, I thought about why I not save these money and the other money my father will give...
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Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ue with me in the rest of my life. To sum up,parent have different ways to ...
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Suggestion: , parent
...the rest of my life. To sum up,parent have different ways to help their child...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, finally, first, however, if, second, so, then, thus, well, while, as to, first of all, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 102.0 43.0788530466 237% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 67.0 52.1666666667 128% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2301.0 1977.66487455 116% => OK
No of words: 538.0 407.700716846 132% => OK
Chars per words: 4.27695167286 4.8611393121 88% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.81610080973 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.36254132428 2.67179642975 88% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 212.727598566 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.364312267658 0.524837075471 69% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 711.0 618.680645161 115% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.51630824373 86% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 60.1550528675 48.9658058833 123% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.571428571 100.406767564 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.619047619 20.6045352989 124% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.7619047619 5.45110844103 106% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 26.0 5.5376344086 470% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 11.8709677419 152% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0226746790566 0.236089414692 10% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0110349578658 0.076458572812 14% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0148399941438 0.0737576698707 20% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0227756946949 0.150856017488 15% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0138874058775 0.0645574589148 22% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.5 11.7677419355 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 71.48 58.1214874552 123% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 7.84 10.9000537634 72% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.55 8.01818996416 82% => OK
difficult_words: 57.0 86.8835125448 66% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.