The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict.
Nowadays , There is a tool which controls and manage people’s behaviors in a society under the rules. It is not designed by only one person but It need be legalized and accepted by government in a in justice way. But if our rules are not strong and strict enough , they will likely break these law and its consequence is lowering its trustworthy and people are more being wrongdoers because of not being scared of the laws anymore. So I totally disagree with this statement which is rules in our society are too austere for young people for two reasons which will be explained in this essay.
Firstly , Teenager is the age of a risk. They will be easily influenced by some factors such as friends or environment. If they were in a bad environment and had bad friends , they would follow their friend and do something that is unlawful like taking addictive drugs , drinking alcohol and even bothering other people by racing motorcycle in resident areas at night. Therefore , the laws should be strong enough to regulate them and they should be responsible for what they have done. Similarly to when they were children when they did something wrong ,so they would get punishment by their parent to make them realize that which is right and which is wrong.
Secondly, the strict rules can teach young people that what they are doing is not right. If they kept on doing bad things, It would affect to our future that there would have less good people in this world and the bad people would be increasing simultaneous. So this solution would be effective for those young people. It is inevitable that If anyone violates the laws , they will get the punishment by the rules as well. It also has a great impact to those who are thinking of being a villain because it can frighten them to not commit a crime. As a result, young people who did badly are able to repent themselves and be good citizen for improving our countries in the future.
To sum up, I firmly believe that the laws are not restrict to young people because young people are in a risk of being induced so easily and this rules can give them some lessons for those to not doing a bad thing.
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- TOEFL TPO 02 - Integrated Writing Task 3
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 9, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
Nowadays , There is a tool which controls and mana...
^^
Line 1, column 201, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...legalized and accepted by government in a in justice way. But if our rules are no...
^
Line 1, column 268, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...r rules are not strong and strict enough , they will likely break these law and it...
^^
Line 1, column 294, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this law' or 'these laws'?
Suggestion: this law; these laws
... strict enough , they will likely break these law and its consequence is lowering its tru...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...l be explained in this essay. Firstly , Teenager is the age of a risk. They wil...
^^
Line 3, column 174, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...in a bad environment and had bad friends , they would follow their friend and do s...
^^
Line 3, column 269, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... is unlawful like taking addictive drugs , drinking alcohol and even bothering oth...
^^
Line 3, column 379, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...le in resident areas at night. Therefore , the laws should be strong enough to reg...
^^
Line 3, column 488, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Similarly,
...be responsible for what they have done. Similarly to when they were children when they di...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 554, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...e children when they did something wrong ,so they would get punishment by their pa...
^^
Line 3, column 600, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hey would get punishment by their parent to make them realize that which is right...
^^
Line 5, column 369, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...vitable that If anyone violates the laws , they will get the punishment by the rul...
^^
Line 7, column 51, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'restricted'.
Suggestion: restricted
... I firmly believe that the laws are not restrict to young people because young people ar...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, second, secondly, similarly, so, therefore, well, such as, as a result, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 32.0 15.1003584229 212% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 9.8082437276 163% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 48.0 43.0788530466 111% => OK
Preposition: 37.0 52.1666666667 71% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1772.0 1977.66487455 90% => OK
No of words: 387.0 407.700716846 95% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.57881136951 4.8611393121 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.43534841618 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.39920086844 2.67179642975 90% => OK
Unique words: 187.0 212.727598566 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.483204134367 0.524837075471 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 541.8 618.680645161 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.94265232975 20% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.2330419753 48.9658058833 117% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.75 100.406767564 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.1875 20.6045352989 117% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.0 5.45110844103 128% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 13.0 5.5376344086 235% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.181305023086 0.236089414692 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0680136367006 0.076458572812 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0710883699675 0.0737576698707 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.132753630644 0.150856017488 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0634201261525 0.0645574589148 98% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 11.7677419355 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 64.04 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.58 10.9000537634 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.72 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 86.8835125448 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.002688172 130% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.