Should the students do part-time job?

Steve job says" the only way to do great work is to love what you do". Going to universities is the best way people chose to make a career. There are different ways people go to university; some students like to be required in the class, because they like to be present in every single class. While, others prefer going to university should be optional. As far as I am concerned, the last point carries more weight. I take this view on the account of the following reasons.

To begin with, university students are old enough to decide. In Afghanistan students who go to university are almost up to eighteen years old; in this age they should be free to decide whether to participate in the class or not. When they get older, it will help them to be precise in their decisions. My friend always told me that if university classes were optional I would have gone every single day. He has grown in bad circumstances; everything he did was his father's force. Besides, he never likes to be required for anything. My father would have gone to university if there was a university that let students attend in the class arbitrary. Therefore, I think that it is good to make classes arbitrary.

Furthermore, students will go to universities with eagerness and passionate if it would be optional for them to attend classes. As a general rule, when students love to do something they will become more successful in that particular field. For example, my friend in London told me that now he can study better than he did in school; it is because he attended in a university that is optional to attend in the classes. He feels more comfortable to study at home rather than participating in classes. This experience shows that it is not only bad but also effective for some students to decide whether to attend in the classes or not.

Moreover, students can work during their study in the university. economically, now many people deal with many problems, specially university students. besides, it would be a great chance for those who are intelligent enough to study and work at the same time. For example, I saw this situation when my neighbor was in Virginia of United States he did both studying and working. He said that I c afford the tuition of my university if I would not have worked. Therefore, going to universities for some students should be optional.

In conclusion, now people are facing with assorted problems all over the world. Most people try to make good changes, and make this world a better place for all mankind. besides, education is a best way to make this world better place for all. Making various choices for students will allow them to study, and I think that it will not be astonishing to make classes arbitrary, because of working and studying at the same time, eagerness, and being old enough to decide.v
Steve job says" the only way to do great work is to love what you do". Going to universities is the best way people chose to make a career. There are different ways people go to university; some students like to be required in the class, because they like to be present in every single class. While, others prefer going to university should be optional. As far as I am concerned, the last point carries more weight. I take this view on the account of the following reasons.

To begin with, university students are old enough to decide. In Afghanistan students who go to university are almost up to eighteen years old; in this age they should be free to decide whether to participate in the class or not. When they get older, it will help them to be precise in their decisions. My friend always told me that if university classes were optional I would have gone every single day. He has grown in bad circumstances; everything he did was his father's force. Besides, he never likes to be required for anything. My father would have gone to university if there was a university that let students attend in the class arbitrary. Therefore, I think that it is good to make classes arbitrary.

Furthermore, students will go to universities with eagerness and passionate if it would be optional for them to attend classes. As a general rule, when students love to do something they will become more successful in that particular field. For example, my friend in London told me that now he can study better than he did in school; it is because he attended in a university that is optional to attend in the classes. He feels more comfortable to study at home rather than participating in classes. This experience shows that it is not only bad but also effective for some students to decide whether to attend in the classes or not.

Moreover, students can work during their study in the university. economically, now many people deal with many problems, specially university students. besides, it would be a great chance for those who are intelligent enough to study and work at the same time. For example, I saw this situation when my neighbor was in Virginia of United States he did both studying and working. He said that I c afford the tuition of my university if I would not have worked. Therefore, going to universities for some students should be optional.

In conclusion, now people are facing with assorted problems all over the world. Most people try to make good changes, and make this world a better place for all mankind. besides, education is a best way to make this world better place for all. Making various choices for students will allow them to study, and I think that it will not be astonishing to make classes arbitrary, because of working and studying at the same time, eagerness, and being old enough to decide.v

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 304, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “While” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ke to be present in every single class. While, others prefer going to university shou...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 712, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t it is good to make classes arbitrary. Furthermore, students will go to univers...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 67, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Economically
...k during their study in the university. economically, now many people deal with many problem...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 153, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Besides
...roblems, specially university students. besides, it would be a great chance for those w...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 171, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Besides
...s world a better place for all mankind. besides, education is a best way to make this w...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 193, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[1]
Message: Use 'the' with the superlative.
Suggestion: the
... for all mankind. besides, education is a best way to make this world better plac...
^
Line 10, column 304, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “While” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ke to be present in every single class. While, others prefer going to university shou...
^^^^^
Line 12, column 712, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t it is good to make classes arbitrary. Furthermore, students will go to univers...
^^^^^
Line 16, column 67, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Economically
...k during their study in the university. economically, now many people deal with many problem...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 16, column 153, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Besides
...roblems, specially university students. besides, it would be a great chance for those w...
^^^^^^^
Line 18, column 171, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Besides
...s world a better place for all mankind. besides, education is a best way to make this w...
^^^^^^^
Line 18, column 193, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[1]
Message: Use 'the' with the superlative.
Suggestion: the
... for all mankind. besides, education is a best way to make this world better plac...
^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, furthermore, if, moreover, so, therefore, while, for example, i think, in conclusion, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 54.0 15.1003584229 358% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 30.0 9.8082437276 306% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 20.0 13.8261648746 145% => OK
Relative clauses : 28.0 11.0286738351 254% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 116.0 43.0788530466 269% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 134.0 52.1666666667 257% => Less preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 4698.0 1977.66487455 238% => Less number of characters wanted.
No of words: 998.0 407.700716846 245% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.70741482966 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.62059943403 4.48103885553 125% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68077853391 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 222.0 212.727598566 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.22244488978 0.524837075471 42% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1499.4 618.680645161 242% => syllable counts are too long.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 28.0 9.59856630824 292% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 12.0 3.51792114695 341% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 6.0 1.86738351254 321% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 57.0 20.6003584229 277% => Too many sentences.
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 46.8638033719 48.9658058833 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 82.4210526316 100.406767564 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.5087719298 20.6045352989 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.08771929825 5.45110844103 38% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 10.0 4.53405017921 221% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 12.0 5.5376344086 217% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 33.0 11.8709677419 278% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.85842293907 207% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 16.0 4.88709677419 327% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.140287293899 0.236089414692 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0390912513702 0.076458572812 51% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0517318275237 0.0737576698707 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0850668754476 0.150856017488 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0296905985235 0.0645574589148 46% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.5 11.7677419355 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.74 10.9000537634 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 5.67 8.01818996416 71% => OK
difficult_words: 75.0 86.8835125448 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Write the essay in 30 minutes.

Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.