Should your government place a tax on the junk food and fatty snacks?
I believe that placing tax on junk foods and fatty snacks benefits the society in several ways.
First of all, taxing, as a negative incentive, will limit the consumption of such foods. Junk foods are very easily accessible and tasty. Besides, they have low prices comparing to the organic or healthy snacks. Thus, it is of no surprise to hear the mind blowing figures of fatty snacks consumption. Due to high fatty contents and thus high calorie content, frequent use of these kinds of food stuff will eventually leads to obesity and related health issues, such as diabetes mellitus and high blood pressure. Depressive disorders have also been reported more frequently among junk food consumer than other people.
In addition to the health related problems, recent psycho-social literature has suggested that unrestricted intake of fatty snacks may decline the mental capacities for learning new concepts among school-age children. In long-term, educational problems will result in a less productive nation and deteriorate economical growth. Thus, taxing is a reasonable price for maintaining the national economical growth figures high.
Finally, taxing will makes fortune for the government. Food companies earn a great amount of money by producing and selling junk foods, which reaches billions of dollars each year. Government can have its own share through taxing. The tax related income can be employed in encouraging healthy life style among the people as well as building and equipping gyms.
Considering the above mentioned facts, I believe that placing tax on junk foods and fatty snacks not only reduces the unwanted consequences of their consumption but also helps the government to oppose the adverse effect of them on national health status. Thus, it is a wise action to be taken by government.
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will eventually leads to obesity and related health issues
will eventually lead to obesity and related health issues
taxing will makes fortune for the government.
taxing will make fortune for the government.
flaws:
The essay is not developed logically smooth.
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Try this pattern:
Para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree.
Para 2: First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 1 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).
Para 3: Second,reason 2 ,blabla... do the same thing as First
Para 4: Third, reason 3 blabla... do the same thing as First but shorter
Para 5: Conclusion.
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An example (Eating at home or restaurant) for paragraph 2:
Para 2: First,reason 1 (1 sentence: Eating at home can save money) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences: I can prepare cheaper food from food market; I don't need to drive or take a bus to reach the restaurant; I don't need to pay tips...) + examples for reason 1 (around 1 sentences: for example, a sandwich can cost me $10 at restaurant, but it only cost me $5 at home.) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences: with the money I saved, I can buy a good book to read; I can use the money for a trip...).
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 18 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 288 350
No. of Characters: 1488 1500
No. of Different Words: 177 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.12 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.167 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.637 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 115 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 85 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.421 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.688 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.308 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.546 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.058 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5