Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Parents concern the study of children, hopefully as well as teachers in school who want students to study well, so that some parents will offer children some money as a reward when they get a high grade. There are different views about this phenomenon. Some would say it is a good idea for children to work harder with some money as a prize. However, others hold that if doing so, it will bring some bad effects to children. From my perspective, I reckon offering money is a good idea. I will take a closer look at the position for several reasons.

The most immediate and important point is money, as an encouragement, is a better way to confirm the good result that children get in school. It is commonly believed that if one does something bad, she or he should be punished. On the other hand, if one does something beneficial, she or he should be rewarded. In this case, I have reason to believe it is appropriate to offer some money to children for parents. Through hard working to get a high grade is not an easy thing, parents show their positive attitude to their children as giving money. what’s more, money is useful for children to purchase stuff that they want such as books, snacks or they can hang out with their friends.

Another point worth mentioning is that offering money is a motivation for children to keep going. When children get a high score, their parents will give them some money. If children get a higher score, their parents will give them much more money. That would stimulate children to try to study harder and achieve more in the next exam, which should be advocated. Because getting better is much more difficult than just do things better once, giving money increasingly due to their performance would let children realize that no pain no gain, which is really a good lesson. Take me as an example, when I was young, my mother told me that if I can get a high score and she will give me the money which is enough to afford my dreaming doll. Thus, I tried so hard and put a lot of effort into the study so as to get the money to make my dream come true. Finally, I did a great job and bought my favorite doll.

Further lending credence to my position is every time children would be tired after an exam, it would be a good way for parents to give them some money to relax when their children get a high score in school. Not only is it an effective way to release the pressure from a long-time study but it also is an appreciation for children’s effort. That would make children very happy.

In nutshell, I have no way but to reiterate my point of view parents offer their children money each high score is a good idea.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 549, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: What&apos
...tude to their children as giving money. what's more, money is useful for children to...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 801, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
... and put a lot of effort into the study so as to get the money to make my dream come tru...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Further,
...reat job and bought my favorite doll. Further lending credence to my position is ever...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, however, if, look, really, so, thus, well, as to, i reckon, such as, as well as, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 15.1003584229 159% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 9.8082437276 173% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.0286738351 163% => OK
Pronoun: 56.0 43.0788530466 130% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 42.0 52.1666666667 81% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2183.0 1977.66487455 110% => OK
No of words: 491.0 407.700716846 120% => OK
Chars per words: 4.44602851324 4.8611393121 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70728369723 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.40554449613 2.67179642975 90% => OK
Unique words: 222.0 212.727598566 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.452138492872 0.524837075471 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 671.4 618.680645161 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 16.0 9.59856630824 167% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.8082806897 48.9658058833 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.9583333333 100.406767564 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.4583333333 20.6045352989 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.91666666667 5.45110844103 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.430353244009 0.236089414692 182% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.133065184335 0.076458572812 174% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0989054059353 0.0737576698707 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.28490305018 0.150856017488 189% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0697410700526 0.0645574589148 108% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.8 11.7677419355 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 58.1214874552 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.53 10.9000537634 78% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.91 8.01818996416 86% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 86.8835125448 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.