Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Upbringing a child is undoubtedly one of the most challenging things to do. You will face a lot of unexpected situations that will leave you in doubt. Sometimes the right thing to do is not an easy task, but being a parent requires you always to do the right thing no matter how hard it is. Giving money to children is the easy way to motivate them to study. Yet, it is definitely the wrong approach.
Rewarding children with money is actually a bribe, and parents will suffer its consequences in the future. When kids grow up, they will demand more money. My nephew: Adam, who is now sixteen years old, is an excellent example of why the financial reward is a bad idea. When Adam was six years old, my sister used to give him five dollars for every A+ he got. Adams hated school so much, and my sister did not have the patience to deal with this issue, so she came up with this easy solution; to bribe her kids to study. Everything went fine for a while until Adam started to ask for more money each year. She was able to keep up with his demands for few years. However, now that he is a teenager and at an age-eligible to drive, Adams wants a sport-car that costs over twenty thousand dollars to study for his final exams. My sister does not have that kind of money, and they are constantly fighting over this matter. I do not blame Adam for this behavior because she taught him to be this materialistic his entire life.
Another reason why I disagree with this approach is it makes children irresponsible and selfish. They will not work for a better future for themselves. My young brother was a star student; he was at the top of his class his entire life. We had such big hopes for him. After losing my father, my mom started to give him money for every high grade he got. She felt guilty that she was busy with work all the time, and she had no time to help him with his homework. My brother is now twenty-one, and he is unemployed. He does not have any sense of responsibility to get a job and provide for himself because he used to get a lot of money just for studying. Now, he thinks he is better than people with jobs; he thinks he is too smart to get an eight to five job. He wants my mother to give him seed money to start his own project, and he does not care that my mom cannot spend all her savings on him. I believe his selfishness and irresponsibility are direct results of the financial rewards he received as a child.
In conclusion, giving money for high grades has a negative impact on children's future.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 756, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'job' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'jobs'.
Suggestion: jobs
...he is too smart to get an eight to five job. He wants my mother to give him seed mo...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, however, if, so, while, in conclusion, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 15.1003584229 159% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 76.0 43.0788530466 176% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2055.0 1977.66487455 104% => OK
No of words: 479.0 407.700716846 117% => OK
Chars per words: 4.29018789144 4.8611393121 88% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67825486995 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.38266520048 2.67179642975 89% => OK
Unique words: 244.0 212.727598566 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.509394572025 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 644.4 618.680645161 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.51630824373 86% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 20.0 9.59856630824 208% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.86738351254 375% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6003584229 131% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 34.3298372106 48.9658058833 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 76.1111111111 100.406767564 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.7407407407 20.6045352989 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.25925925926 5.45110844103 41% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 13.0 3.85842293907 337% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.201506820724 0.236089414692 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0587553955427 0.076458572812 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.042376738244 0.0737576698707 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.136987946522 0.150856017488 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0324702861942 0.0645574589148 50% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 7.6 11.7677419355 65% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 79.6 58.1214874552 137% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.4 10.1575268817 63% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 7.31 10.9000537634 67% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.05 8.01818996416 88% => OK
difficult_words: 78.0 86.8835125448 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 10.247311828 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.