Some parents offer their school age children money for each high grade mark they get in school Do you think this is a good idea Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In today's world, considering the increasing concentration on education comparing to last decades, having an appropriate approach to children and their schools is of paramount importance. A controversial question which is often raised regarding this issue is whether it is necessary for parents to encourage their children by paying money when they achieve a goal in schools such as a high grade or not. Some people possess the conviction that the former is a good way to encourage childs whereas others hold exactly the opposite and allege that it could have pernicious influence on children. I personally contend that paying money to children might have undesirable effects and parents should not do this. To substantiate my point of view, the following paragraphs represent a cursory glance at the most outstanding reasons.

The first reason coming to mind to substantiate my view standpoint is concerned with this issue that parents should learn they children what is beneficial to them and what is damaging. parents should persuade them that good studying in school and after that in university can lead them to a brilliant future. On the other hand, convince them provided that they do not study hard and not be persistent and determined, they would not have a decent occupation in the future. To make more clear, take my experience as an example. When I was child, my parents encouraged me by showing me persons who had studied hard in school and university and then become a successful manager or engineer. Had they not exemplified such suitable parables for me, I would not have been a prosperous engineer.

The second rationale behind this opinion is rooted in the negative effect of this behavioral method to upbringing of childs. Paying money to children not only is not a proper impetus for encouragement of children, but also it might have counter effects on them in the long term. The noteworthy research conducted in Harvard university reveals that giving incentives to children for their every achievement, could result in their depression when they become a ripe man or woman. This phenomenon is due to the fact that one day they notice that there is nothing that can encourage them. This time they face an unpredicted disorder which psychologists name it depression.

In conclusion, contemplating all the aforementioned reasons, one soon realizes that the best way to encourage children during their study is to show them a bright future if they pass their school with good marks and learn various skills and professions. Consequently, it is highly recommended that instead of paying money to children, parents learn them to ponder and opt good ways.

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Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 28, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'mind substantiating'.
Suggestion: mind substantiating
... reasons. The first reason coming to mind to substantiate my view standpoint is concerned with th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 186, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Parents
...eneficial to them and what is damaging. parents should persuade them that good studying...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, if, regarding, second, so, then, whereas, in conclusion, such as, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 11.0286738351 172% => OK
Pronoun: 58.0 43.0788530466 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 51.0 52.1666666667 98% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2241.0 1977.66487455 113% => OK
No of words: 439.0 407.700716846 108% => OK
Chars per words: 5.10478359909 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57737117129 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.86907453191 2.67179642975 107% => OK
Unique words: 232.0 212.727598566 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.5284738041 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 673.2 618.680645161 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.345594072 48.9658058833 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.5 100.406767564 124% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.3888888889 20.6045352989 118% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.38888888889 5.45110844103 117% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.280958880558 0.236089414692 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0878271714093 0.076458572812 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0561442686187 0.0737576698707 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.182777867412 0.150856017488 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0393745769331 0.0645574589148 61% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.8 11.7677419355 126% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 58.1214874552 96% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.6 10.9000537634 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.6 8.01818996416 107% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 86.8835125448 121% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.