Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Views differ considerably when it comes to the issue of offering money for school-age children when they get the high grade in school,we find that some people hold the idea of offering the money meanwhile others prefer to not get them the money. As far as I concerned, it is more advisable to choose not getting them the money rather than getting the money. My arguments for this point are listed as follows.

First of all, it is important to consider that controlling the money. Certainly, there may be some perspectives that I neglected to fully consider. However, in most cases, school-age children can not manage the money. To illustrate this idea let us consider the following example that the children will spend out their money to buy candies and toys. But do not know how to arrange the money.

Secondly, the equal importance is that purpose take the test . Of course, for some people, there may be an argument to be made for other positions. However, it would be fair to say that it most people it just want to take high score. Take a case of Karl Lin, a friend of mine whom I have known him for 27 years. He want to take more money, so he took a course which he did not interested. This caused him that studying is a uncomfortable things. This is a good example showing that giving the money will make the children to unlike to study.

Finally, I will be first to admit that parent relationship between children. Despite the possibility, I prefer to maintain my stance for this issue. By way of example, I can remember that my friend, when she was a second grade, her parent only give her money. That is cause that she only want money. I think that this the case for many other people as well.

By way of conclusion, based on the argument explored above, when advantage and disadvantage of offer their school-age children money are carefully compared, the most striking view is obvious. Not only, but also. That is why everyone will do the same thing.

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Independent TOEFL Writing

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 134, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , we
...n when they get the high grade in school,we find that some people hold the idea of ...
^^^
Line 1, column 305, Rule ID: AFFORD_VBG[2]
Message: This verb is used with infinitive: 'to get'.
Suggestion: to get
...ned, it is more advisable to choose not getting them the money rather than getting the ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 61, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...importance is that purpose take the test . Of course, for some people, there may b...
^^
Line 5, column 316, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'He' must be used with a third-person verb: 'wants'.
Suggestion: wants
... whom I have known him for 27 years. He want to take more money, so he took a course...
^^^^
Line 5, column 378, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: 'interest'
Suggestion: interest
...y, so he took a course which he did not interested. This caused him that studying is a unc...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 423, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ested. This caused him that studying is a uncomfortable things. This is a good ex...
^
Line 5, column 439, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'thing'?
Suggestion: thing
...ed him that studying is a uncomfortable things. This is a good example showing that gi...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 207, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END[1]
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: as well
...striking view is obvious. Not only, but also. That is why everyone will do the same ...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, well, while, i think, of course, first of all, in most cases

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 13.8261648746 29% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 20.0 11.0286738351 181% => OK
Pronoun: 53.0 43.0788530466 123% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 34.0 52.1666666667 65% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1620.0 1977.66487455 82% => OK
No of words: 353.0 407.700716846 87% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.58923512748 4.8611393121 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.33454660006 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.48279855772 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 183.0 212.727598566 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.518413597734 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 504.9 618.680645161 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 48.8131346791 48.9658058833 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 70.4347826087 100.406767564 70% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.347826087 20.6045352989 74% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.52173913043 5.45110844103 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0 0.236089414692 0% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0 0.076458572812 0% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0737576698707 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0 0.150856017488 0% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0645574589148 0% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 7.9 11.7677419355 67% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 73.17 58.1214874552 126% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.8 10.1575268817 67% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.75 10.9000537634 80% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.06 8.01818996416 88% => OK
difficult_words: 60.0 86.8835125448 69% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.